Save Me
by Inari24
Summary: Haruhi was no longer in that basement, chained up like an animal yet she was still terrified. The scars imprinted themselves so deeply that she feared she may never recover. Her boys refuse to let her fade away though, they would love her enough to save her even from herself. *Warnings inside.*
1. Chapter 1

Save me

A/N: This story contains the kidnapping and implied abuse of multiple girls and the psychological aftermath. It is not for children or for the sensitive so with that warning if you decide to continue reading on and are offended, it is not my problem. Do not flame me, if you don't like how I write or the plot, be mature and mosey along. I do love some constructive criticism though, because I am not a perfect writer. Some one would consider the characters OOC but I have been told that they adapted to a situation, and that they are not OOC at all. Enjoy!

Chapter 1

The boys of the Ouran Host Club sat in a darkened abandoned music room that only months ago was filled with laughter and frivolity. Their eyes, that despite their own complicated pasts had always held a glimmer of innocence that they refused to let the world take from them, were tired and dull. Their heart had been stolen and it seemed that the money that always solved their problems had become useless.

Tamaki Suoh stood at one of the many windows, his violet eyes unseeing as he stared out into the gardens. Four months. It had been four months since Haruhi had been taken...taken from the store parking lot they sent her to for fucking coffee. He reached up and placed his hand and forehead on the glass and let the tears fall. He had told her he would always be there for her, he had promised her that she would never have to be alone again. He had failed her.

Kyoya Ootori turned his head away from the research that hung from nearly every inch of the music room's walls. His eyes were bloodshot, the lack of sleep wearing him thin. He watched his best friend silently cry as he had for months, now though Tamaki made no sound in his sorrow. It spoke loudly of how much pain the boy was in. Kyoya while not able to shed the tears that came so easily to Tamaki, showed his fear and heartbreak in his unrelenting search for more information. He had nightmares, where once his nights were dreamless. He could hear her screaming; begging for them to find her. He knew that the nightmares were nothing compared to Haruhi's reality...and that was the real nightmare.

Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin sat side by side, going over for the hundredth time the sketchy footage of Haruhi's abduction from a cheap camera across the street. They could see nothing, yet they still watched it to punish themselves. They had ushered her out the door that day, with selfish requests, laughing at her frustrated glare. They had sent her to the devil on a fucking silver platter. Every time they closed their eyes all they could see was her accusing wide stare…then emptiness. Dead eyes. The guilt, the fear, the absolute fucking pain was tearing them apart like a viscous disease. The twins clung even tighter to each other since Haruhi's abduction, unable to let the other out of their sight. If only they had clung to her more tightly, cherished her more. Had she even known how much they adored her? Of course not, because they treated her like a pet. So tightly were their hands clasped that their fingers began to numb.

Takashi "Mori" Morinozuka stood with his back against the farthest wall from the others. He was as silent as he had always been but if one looked into his stormy grey eyes they would see fear that no words could even fathom to describe. It was deeply ingrained in Mori to protect, to keep those who were precious to him safe. Knowing that Haruhi was either suffering or dead…it left him feeling hollow. Mori, who found no use in unnecessary words, wanted to scream out to whoever would listen. He wanted to know why. He wanted to know what kind of world would allow for such a thing to happen to Haruhi. To anyone, for that matter. Most of all, he wanted to fall to his knees and cry.

Mitsukuni "Hani" Haninozuka sat in a dark corner, staring up at the ceiling above him. With his innocence stripped away by the abduction of Haruhi, his world had become void of light. He was so lost in his anger and fear that he had become someone even he feared. He would use his fury to his advantage when they found the person who took Haruhi. He would make them regret even looking at someone so precious, he wanted to blind them for thinking they even _deserved _to look at her. He knew that Haruhi was alive, he could feel it. She was alive but to be alive meant she was still suffering, but they would find her. There was no other option.

Little did the boys of Ouran know, but their prayers of four months were soon to be answered in a single phone call.

~oOo~

Chains rattled and clanged loudly against a cold concrete wall, the sound jerking Haruhi awake. Her eyes opened slowly revealing tired and dull chocolate orbs that were rimmed red from her tears. She parted her cracked and bloody lips and a small whimper of pain slipped passed them as she lifted her head to rest on the wall behind her. Despite the days…weeks…months, she had already spent crying she felt her vision blur, the warmth of the tears that made neat trails down her dirt stained face made her wince.

For months she held onto her hope that the large steel door of her prison would swing open and instead of her demented abductor, her father would be on the other side with tears of joy in his eyes at finding her alive. Sometimes in her fantasies the boys of the host club would be there, promising to avenge her. They were lovely fantasies indeed, and after the third month of hell she began to realize that fantasies were all they would remain. Her hope had died and with it her will to live.

A whispered question echoed on the walls of their cell, "Why are you crying Haruhi?"

Haruhi lifted her head and turned to the girl chained a few feet from her. Satori was still beautiful beneath all the dirt, blood, and grime that covered her bare body, and unfortunately her mature kind of beauty made her a favorite of the monster upstairs. She had been brought into their shared prison a week after Haruhi and if not for her fear of leaving Satori behind she would have long since willed herself to die. "I was dreaming…I hate dreaming."

Satori leaned her head back against the wall, "I'll trade my nightmares for your dreams any day Haruhi."

Haruhi slowly shook her head, "They are wonderful until you open your eyes to this fucked up reality. My dreams are only breaking me…they are lies."

The young girl who once was filled with such sweet innocence and such aspirations of what her life would be watched as Satori, who so rarely showed emotion began to weep.

"Don't say that Haruhi. Please don't ever say that…your dreams are all that I have aside from you. I am an orphan…nobody will miss me. Nobody will even care enough to look. You though…you have a family and friends who will never give up. Don't stop dreaming…because the end of your dreams will be the end of me."

Haruhi closed her eyes and dropped her chin to her chest; her hair which had grown to her shoulders covered her face. "My dreams are not my hopes Satori. They shouldn't be yours either."

It was silent for a bit and when Haruhi thought Satori had taken her words as serious as she had meant them she said, "But they are Haruhi. I don't have any of my own, so if you have given up on your dreams I guess it is up to me to keep them going." Haruhi leaned her head back and stared up at the ceiling, not responding. If the girl wanted to hope then let her.

Just as Haruhi closed her eyes a bang against the steel door in front of her made both girls scramble up and cling to the cold wall. The metal scraped loudly against the floor as it was pushed open Haruhi's heart sped up in fear. Standing in the frame of the door was a man who looked like he would help an old lady across the street. He was tall, nearly as tall as Mori with light brown hair that was combed back neatly. He had a baby face, one that looked kind until you looked into his eyes. His eyes told the truth, he couldn't hide the cruelty and insanity in them. He was looking right at her, twirling the keys to the chains on his index finger.

Haruhi, even though her hope had died, refused to not fight. He knew too, that she would fight and he took joy in it…but even so it felt wrong to Haruhi to give up. As he took her wrists she kicked at him, screaming profanities, trying to escape his hold as Satori cried out for her. He dragged her by her hair out the door, past other doors that she knew other girls were being held. Her already bruised back thumped against the stairs as he pulled her up each step. Tears leaked from her eyes as he pulled her body across rough carpet and threw her into his room. She struggled to stand but like all the times before he kicked her back down, pulling her up by her wrists. He was going to chain her to his bed and duct tape her mouth shut. She knew this because he always did the same exact thing every time. She heard the click of one handcuff…and then something happened that threw off his routine. The phone rang.

He quickly closed the other handcuff and put the duct tape over her mouth before marching out of the room. She had noticed something he didn't though, the right handcuff didn't click. She twisted her wrist up to slide the handcuff off, pushing it against the headboard and felt her wrist free. Her heart began to pound as she reached over her body to grab the keys he left on his nightstand and in seconds her left hand was free. She tore the duct tape off of her mouth and grabbed the needle with whatever drug he used on them to keep them sedated from his dresser. He would inject them after he was done, the purpose of it she didn't know but it didn't matter. The needle was her only chance.

She stood beside the door, where he wouldn't see her when he came back down the hall. Despite the adrenaline she controlled her breathing, so that he wouldn't hear her and stood for minutes on end with her hand raised. She could hear the tick of the clock on the wall, intensifying the situation and knotting up her stomach in fear and anticipation. This was her only chance for both her, Satori, and the other girls. The hope that she had lost was renewed.

She tensed even further at the sound of his footsteps, the closer they got the more determined she became. She would take him down. She saw his shoulder first and when he froze at the sight of the empty bed she stabbed the needle deep into the side of his neck, injecting him with the full amount of whatever the fuck was in the syringe. He gasped and pulled back, his hand clasping his neck staring at her with wide eyes. She jumped back as he swung at her, if he managed to knock her out before he knocked out then she could be unconscious for hours. It could be longer than it took for him to wake up…she couldn't let that happen. She jumped away from him and leapt on the bed to the other side of the room, watching him stumble around with such joy in her elated heart.

Watching him fall to onto the bed face first was satisfying, even more so because he made it easier to handcuff him to his bed. Picking up a crystal vase she raised it above her head, she needed to be prepared should he not be unconscious. She tapped him hard in the back of the head with the vase. Nothing. With the vase still raised high above his head she pulled his body further onto the bed with her other hand, the adrenaline rushing through her lending her its strength.

She felt his pulse, the slow beat telling her he was very much out of it. In a rush, she put the vase down and with both hands dragged his right arm to the handcuff and made damn sure it clicked shut. Tightly too. Running to the other side she did the same, and took a step back to stare at the man who made her life a living hell for the past months. He was face down, drooling, and she couldn't wait to get out of there. Making sure he was secure a second time she ran out of the room with his ring of keys and down the hall where he had come from and began to cry when she saw the phone. Reaching for it, she didn't call 9-11. She didn't even call her father. Her fingers instinctively called the people who she knew would destroy the monster and save her.

The phone rang. Once. Twice. Three times. Then she heard a voice, tired but undoubtedly her friend. "Kyoya senpai?"

There was silence, absolute silence. Then a quivering voice answered back. "Haruhi?"

A sob tore from her throat as she nodded and cried out, "Yes Kyoya senpai, it's me!"

There was commotion in the background, her tears falling faster at the sound of the host club. Then he asked her a question she didn't know the answer to, "Where are you Haruhi? Where are you?"

"I don't know…I don't know!"

She heard him take a deep calming breath then asked her, "Are you in a house?"

"Yes."

"Look for something with an address on it Haruhi. Mail. Look for mail."

She ran around the house naked and scared, until she found a basket full of envelopes. She grabbed a few, all with the same address and let out a sob of relief. She whispered the address and then cleared her throat and repeated it over and over again.

"Haruhi…we are on our way. Stay safe, for god sake, stay safe."

"Senpai. There are others."

There was a pause, "We will bring everything to you Haruhi."

"Don't hang up Kyoya senpai. Please."

"I won't. I promise, I won't hang up."

As she rushed down stairs she listened as Kyoya instructed her to release the girls and get out of the house. The first door Haruhi opened was where she had been kept and the tear stained look of shock on Satori's face wasn't even amusing. Satori said nothing as Haruhi juggled the phone and unchained her, "Satori, we have to get the others and get out of here. My friends are on their way."

Satori nodded but whispered, "What about the cops? Shouldn't they be on their way too."

"My friends are better than law enforcement. You'll see."

"How Haruhi? How did you escape?"

"Not now Satori. Later."

Door after door, chain after chain, Haruhi was greeted with tears and relief. In all there was 13 girls, Haruhi the youngest. Like a stampede they ran out of the basement, out of the house, uncaring of their nakedness. Kyoya continued to speak to her but she could barely hear him through the loud sound of wind. He was in a helicopter.

Hearing his breathing was enough as the girls all curled up to each other and looked at her for instructions.

She took a deep breath and despite her own fear tried to explain to them the best she could what was happening. "I knocked him out with the drugs he would give us…handcuffed him to the bed. I called friends, they will be here soon."

The sound became clear again through the phone and Haruhi knew that they had landed.

"Give us five more minutes Haruhi. Five more minutes and you will be safe."

* * *

a/n: Okay...my first Ouran fanfic attempt, sorry for any grammatical errors. Poor Haruhi is safe from the monster but now she has to face her inner demons, and my problem now is I have no idea who she should end up with. Any suggestions? Let me know what you think by reviewing!


	2. Chapter 2

a/n: This chapter is necessary but after this the real story begins. There is a bit of violence in this chapter, not descriptive at all. As a reminder, the characters are OOC and this chapter is an example of just how much. I apologize for any grammatical errors and I hope you enjoy.

Chapter 2

The shrill sound of the ringing of Kyoya's phone broke the silence and echoed against the walls. The others in the room were pulled away from their dark thoughts, each of them turning to look over at the young Ootori. With a tired sigh Kyoya reached into his back pocket and pulled out his phone, frowning down at the screen.

Unknown Number.

He didn't answer numbers he didn't know but at the second ring he knew he couldn't take the chance that it was someone with more information about Haruhi's abduction. He slid the green answer button across the screen and lifted the phone to his ear, his voice as tired as he felt.

In no mood to be cordial he asked, "Yes?"

At first there was nothing but quiet and then a small scared voice came through, making his breath hold and his tired eyes open wide. He had prayed every day and every night and now he was so scared to hope that it was her on the other line. He didn't know what to say or do and for a fraction of a wasted second he wondered if he was dreaming. He didn't think his own mind could be so cruel as to dream this up.

He couldn't keep the hope or the tremble out of his voice as he whispered her name.

"Haruhi?"

The second her name passed his lips the others were beside him, crying out her name with desperation clearly written on their faces. As much as he understood how they felt, he held up his hand to silence them, his heart beating hard in his chest as she cried out that it was in fact her.

The others quieted down but looked on with eyes full of the hope he had feared to have. Putting her on speaker they were already out the door when he asked her where she was, Tamaki already calling for the family helicopter to meet them on the roof.

He tried to calm her down enough to find out where she was, listening to her and trying to ease the fear in her voice despite the fear in his own. She begged him to not hang up…and he was amazed that she still didn't realize just how precious she was to all of them. They all listened intently as she moved around, the sound of metal scraping and chains moving.

He felt his chest tighten and watched as the others faces hardened at the sound of those chains, knowing that Haruhi had been prisoner to them as well. Hearing her speak to the girls, instructing them and soothing them was painful for the boys because they knew her enough to hear the anxiety in her voice. It took nearly an unbearable hour, the helicopter had been unable to land because of the amount of trees and they had to drive the last few minutes.

As they grew closer they all simultaneously leaned forward, as if sensing her. Behind them was a Calvary of ambulances and the Ootori police force but honestly, Hani had his own plans for the son of a bitch who took Haruhi. The bastard would beg for death, he trusted Hani to make it so.

They turned on an old decrepit road and within a few minutes, they saw her. She was huddled naked with several other girls and she looked absolutely…beautiful. She was so thin that he could see her bones even from within the car, but she was beautiful. She was filthy, covered in dirt, blood and grime, but still she was stunning. He had truly never seen anything as beautiful as Haruhi.

Mori slammed on the breaks, jerking all of their bodies forward but they were not upset. They needed out of the car. The doors were thrown open and they all flew out of the vehicle, the blood pounded in their veins and their hearts raced so fast in their fear that she would dissipate like a mirage in the desert.

The phone slipped out of her hands and her big doe eyes filled with tears before she hunched over and began to cry great big sobs that looked painful as her body heaved. The other girls, just as bare and traumatized as Haruhi, followed suit.

The boys were not heartless, in fact they had hearts sometimes much too big for their own good. So no one, not the EMT's or the police force, not even the girls could feel upset when it was only Haruhi they covered in a blue blazer and held protectively.

As the boys held her Haruhi tilted her head back and laughed as she sobbed, staring up through the trees and to the blue sky as tears fell like diamonds from her lashes. She whispered to the sky, to her mother and to God, "Thank you. Thank you for sending them to me."

~oOo~

Even though it hurt to even take his eyes off of her, Hani watched the ambulance drive away with Haruhi, Kyoya and Tamaki. He had decided to stay behind to…teach a much needed lesson. He asked the others before they followed to send a car to pick him up in a few hours with a change of clothes, despite all of his experience things could get a bit messy at times.

He walked up the steps of the quaint little house in the woods and pushed open the heavy door, peering inside and noticing how pristine the inside was. It was clean…abnormally clean and the smell of cleaning products permeated in the air. He wasn't concerned with the man's cleaning habits though, he had much more important matters to attend to.

He walked into the kitchen and opened up the drawers, nodding in satisfaction as he pulled out a corkscrew for wine bottles, two metal skewers and a regular knife. With the items in hand he lazily made his way down the hallway, peering inside each room until he found the one he was looking for.

Lying on his chest and handcuffed to the headboard of the bed was the man who would soon beg for mercy. Noticing a chair in the corner of the room Hani sat and waited for the man to wake.

Hani sat in the room for nearly an hour before the man let out a groan and shifted, and still Hani waited. Another few minutes passed by and he watched as the man began to take notice of his position and started to struggle but then froze when he noticed Hani sitting calmly in the corner of the room with a knife in his lap.

"I trust you enjoyed your rest."

The man stuttered, "Wh…who are you?"

Hani stood, in the last two years he had grown a bit enough to be a little more imposing. At 5'7 he was still the shortest of the boys but he had remained the most dangerous and Haruhi's torturer would soon know why.

"Who am I? I am the man who is going to make you scream and beg to die…but unfortunately I don't have months as you did. So we will have to do what we can with the time that I do have."

"I did nothing to you!"

The man was shivering in fear, already begging for his life.

Hani frowned, "How unsatisfying, for a monster like you to so quickly be reduced to the sniveling filth you are. I had hoped to break you…but I suppose I will have to settle with hearing your screams instead."

The high pitch scream echoed in the forest when Hani pierced his hand with the metal skewers and straight into the wood of the headboard. "And this is just the beginning."

Hani took no pleasure in the screams because was not a monster, but he _was_ a man who sought vengeance for one of his precious people. Hani decided he was finished three hours later after the man not only peed on himself but had defecated as well, and then promptly fainted.

With a sneer Hani shook his head, "Disgusting and pathetic."

Leaving the man there, Hani marched out of the house and looked over at one of Kyoya's guards, "It's a mess in there…if you can make sure all evidence is destroyed."

Not blinking an eye the guard asked, "And the man?"

"Do with him what you will but make it last."

Handing the man's fate over to Kyoya's police force was the worst punishment, they would do things not even Hani would be able to stomach. It was fitting.

~oOo~

It was utter chaos in the hospital but after what seemed like an eternity of x-rays, MRI's, CT scans and other tests, Haruhi was allowed a bath. A nurse named Yuuki came in, she was young and very pretty, and seemed to be more interested in the boys than helping her. The boys smiled at her attempt at flirting but Haruhi could see the annoyance on their faces and in their eyes. They were trying not to be rude, Haruhi could actually see the struggle on their faces, even Tamaki's. One of them, most likely Hikaru wouldn't be able to handle Yuuki for much longer.

Usually Haruhi had no issue with the girls and their fluttering lashes and fake laughs, but today was not one of those days. Before she could complain a voice from the door spoke for her, "You want to know what sounds just amazing. If you would do your damn job instead of making your patient watch you flirt with men you have no chance with."

Haruhi turned stunned eyes on Hani who had been curiously absent for almost four hours. He stepped away from the door and straight towards her with worry in his eyes, "You want me to get you a different nurse?"

Seeing the anger in Yuuki's eyes at Hani's comment she nodded, "Thank you Hani."

Yuuki made the mistake of opening her mouth, "That isn't necessary, I will bathe her."

It was her tone of voice that did it for Hani, she huffed the words, making bathing Haruhi sound like a burden.

Hani turned to her with angry hazel eyes, "The hell you will. Your job, whether you like it or not, is to see to your patients. Your job requirements do not involve flirting with underage boys and I damn well know they don't involve you treating a patient like a chore. Get out. I don't want to see you in this room again."

Yuuki ran out of the room, humiliated. Hani turned to Mori, "Find her another nurse. A good one this time."

With a nod Mori left the room and Haruhi frowned up at the usually sweet Hani. "Are you okay Hani sempai?"

Hani smiled down at her, "How can I not be when you are here and safe? I'm just a little bit protective right now, I apologize."

"Don't. It makes me feel safe."

"Good."

Tamaki stepped forward and with an unsure look in his eyes asked, "Do you want help to the shower before Mori finds you another nurse?"

She looked up at him and stared into his eyes. They looked different, they were still violet, still beautiful, but haunted. "No thank you sempai. I'll just wait."

Five minutes later Mori returned with an older woman who had a kind face. "Hi there sweetheart, my name is Vera. Let's get you all cleaned up."

After Vera left Haruhi lay curled up in the bed with Hani at her side and the twins at her feet. It was silent, everybody just taking comfort in each other's presence and reveling that the nightmare was over. It was when Haruhi fell asleep and woke up screaming and swinging her arms to escape from Hani's gentle hold did they realize that Haruhi's nightmare was far from over.

* * *

a/n: I hope you liked it. Review please!


	3. Chapter 3

A/n: I want to first address something Haruhi says at the end of this chapter before you read on. It is something that women AND men who are violated do in fact feel even though it is NOT true. If you have been hurt in some way and are suffering with those kind of emotions, please seek help.

I want to thank those who had taken the time to read and review Save Me, and to thank a reviewer who gave me some advice on who Haruhi should end up with. While all the boys are still under consideration I am just going to go with the flow of the story and see where it takes Haruhi. I apologize for any grammatical errors. Enjoy!

Chapter 3

After Haruhi was let out of the hospital she had been bombarded by the media and police with too many questions. The boys had handled it as they handled everything else, ruthlessly. They tore the police to shreds, especially when they found out the identity of the man who had taken Haruhi.

His name was Hisoka Kimura, a member of the Japanese Police Force. He had been one of the men tasked with finding Haruhi and when they had found that out it had been more than enough to undermine the police when asked the whereabouts of Hisoka. It also had shifted the media circus from the girls to the credibility of the police force who even though knew that Kimura was a monster, defended him because he was one of their own. Haruhi hadn't been privy to what had exactly happened but whatever it was, had only instilled fear in the opposition. The boys were more than pleased with the outcome.

It was their actions to keep her privacy safe that earned their forgiveness from her father who had been furious that he hadn't been contacted immediately. When he saw her for the first time in four months there was no theatrical scene, only shock. He had stood before her, his eyes taking in her differences from her thinness to the length of her hair. He had raised his hand to her face and hesitantly cupped her cheek, the fear that she would fade away clear in his eyes. When she whispered, "Hi dad," tears had begun to fall in a steady stream down his unshaven face. In a broken whisper he responded with, "Hi baby girl," and pulled her into his arms.

After a few days the doctor had come in and given her the okay to go home but with instructions. Aside from a diet to gain back the weight she lost he had strongly advised her to see a therapist. In the week she had spent in the hospital she had slept very little, her nightmares keeping her and the others awake.

She hated how scared she was. She was scared to sleep, she was scared of the dark….sometimes she was scared of the boys. If they knew that when they got close her heart sped up with fear it would break their hearts. They could never know.

With a deep shuddering breath Haruhi stared at herself in the mirror, smoothing her blue Ouran jacket with trembling hands. It was her first day back to school and she was nervous. Normally she would catch the bus and walk the rest of the way but even suggesting the idea had caused an uproar. The boys had insisted that one of them would come to pick her up every day and to take her home, and her fear wouldn't allow her to refuse them.

Grabbing her bag she walked out of her room where her dad was waiting for her with her lunch money. "Here you go honey."

Haruhi could see in her father's eyes the discomfort of letting her out of his sight and she understood because she was uncomfortable as well. She gave her father a small smile anyway, trying to ease his worries. "It's ok dad. The boys won't let anything happen to me…I'll be lucky if they let me go to the bathroom on my own."

Despite his silliness Ranka was not a stupid man, he knew very well that his daughter was pretending to be strong to make him feel better. Usually he found her behavior endearing, but as her face stretched in a false smile and her eyes spoke the truth of her own fear he knew that he could not let her pretend for him.

"Haruhi, you are my daughter and there is no one in this world who I will ever love more than you. I might not have been as involved as I should have been in your life, but that does not mean I don't know who you are. You are one of the strongest people I have ever met, stronger than me, and stronger than your mother was. You are also a martyr. It is beautiful to watch how sacrificing you can be at times but baby girl, this is not one of those times. You _do not_ have to pretend to be okay to make me happy because I know that you are _not_ okay. You are hurt and I am scared and no amount of pretending is going to make us better. So as much as I love your smile Haruhi, don't smile for me…smile for yourself."

Haruhi did not cry but she wanted to. "I'll try dad…I…I just want you to know that I never once doubted that you loved me. You were a single father and I understood that even though you were not here, you wanted to be. What happened to me…I don't think I know how to smile anymore dad."

Tears did gather as she revealed to the most important man in her life a small part of her pain. Her eyes burned and her throat tightened, "I feel…wrong. Those months in that cellar, it felt like years. I don't know how to go back to being me."

Ranka watched his daughter cry and his heart hurt, but he knew that to heal she needed to speak about what happened and he needed to listen. "Sweetheart…no person in this world could go through what you did and not change. Chasing shadows baby, I don't think it is what you need."

"What do I do then dad? Who am I supposed to be then if not Haruhi?"

"No matter who you are you will always be Haruhi. Your identity is yours…it doesn't belong to me, to your friends…or even that monster. You may not be able to be who you were, but don't let Kimura take away who you could be as well. It will take time baby girl but you will get better."

Her father's sincere words echoed in her mind and she knew that he was right. Nobody could take away her identity.

~oOo~

The classroom was quiet, almost unnaturally silent. No one had spoken a word from the moment Haruhi and the twins had walked through the door and Haruhi's already frayed nerves were not handling it well. They didn't have to speak for her to know that she was the subject of their thoughts because she could feel their stares like tiny pinpricks all over her skin. She wasn't sure how she was going to last through the day.

The twins were not helping the situation either. After the chaos of her return had somewhat calmed down she had noticed that the two could barely speak to her, let alone look her in the eyes. The same boys who didn't know the meaning of personal space were afraid to be near her. She didn't quite understand but their behavior only succeeded in making her feel more alienated… and it was hurting her feelings.

As soon as lunch time came around Haruhi was the first out of her seat and out the door, trying to escape the stressful atmosphere. She heard the twins call out her name but she had already become lost in the crowd, and instead of going to the lunchroom she took a sharp right. She didn't want them to find her, they made her feel worse than she already did. She waited behind a corner until the halls emptied, guiltily watching the twins run down the stairs frantically calling her name. She didn't know why they were so intent on finding her when they could barely stand to be near her.

She didn't know where she was going until she stood in front of the abandoned Music Room 3 that was never truly abandoned. She took in a deep breath and pushed open the door and stood in surprise at the sight of Kyoya and Hani both sleeping. She had known they hadn't been sleeping and she knew exactly how they felt. She was a bit envious of them both but quickly chastised herself, they were exhausted too and needed to rest. Watching them, she became aware of just how exhausted she truly was.

She quietly made her way to the window seat, not wanting to wake up either of the boys. She stood staring out the window for a while before sitting down with her back against the hard wall and her legs curled beneath her. If someone were to walk in they would wonder how she could sleep in such an uncomfortable position and if Haruhi had taken the time to wonder about it too, she would know just how much her mind had been affected by her time in the cellar.

She looked down at the garden below and felt her eyes began to grow heavy and droop, within less than a minute she had succumbed to sleep.

~oOo~

The twins were scared and worried. Haruhi had run from them, even though she could have gotten lost in the crowd they knew that she had done it on purpose. It hurt. They had looked everywhere and when class resumed and Haruhi was still missing their fear escalated. Ignoring their teachers irritated calls Hikaru and Kaoru ran out of the room.

Their eyes began to water as they were reminded of the day that Haruhi was taken. They had waited for her last time…even though they were worried they had not gone to look for her. They had sat there staring at the door like fools, praying she would run through with a flushed irritated look on her face and her commoner's coffee in hand. Even though they knew Kimura was dead and gone they couldn't sit there and wait again. They had barged into room after room, disrupting classes and collecting both Tamaki and Mori on the way.

"Where the hell are Kyoya and Hani?"

Tamaki shook his head, "I don't know. Kyoya said he had something to do and never made it back to class."

Mori stared down with a frown on his face before marching up the stairs, "Hani is taking a nap."

The others followed him wondering out loud, "During class?"

"He hasn't been sleeping and it is making him feel ill."

The four boys stood in front of the door they all knew so well before pushing it open. The twins let out a sigh of relief when they saw her in the most obvious place they hadn't thought to look. Their relief turned quickly to worry at her uncomfortable looking position. Her back was straight as a board against the wall and her arms held out to her sides, hands clenched tight. Her legs were curled beneath her and her head was tilted up against the wall, but her face…she looked more comfortable than she had sleeping on a bed.

Mori spoke first, his deep voice barely succeeding in his attempt at a whisper, "It was how she slept in that place. Her body is used to it and it seems like her mind is as well."

Tamaki had tears in his big violet eyes as he stared at her, "How are we supposed to help her?"

Kaoru whispered, "Especially if she runs from us."

Hikaru wiped angrily at the tear that left a hot trail down his cheek, "Especially if she is scared of us."

A tired voice answered, "We stay by her side and fight for and with her." They all turned to look at Hani who had dark circles around his hazel eyes. "If you thought losing her was hard…keeping her is going to be even harder. She needs us to be strong enough to carry her through her pain and if you can't do that then you should back out now. We will try to be as gentle with her as possible, even when she breaks our hearts, because she will."

Another voice joined in and they turned from Hani to Kyoya. His voice was like gravel and he looked even more exhausted than even Hani, which was saying something. "Haruhi is sick. Her body has been violated but it is her mind that has the deepest scars and it is her mind that is suffering. I want to make sure that even when it feels hopeless none of you will walk away. She is going to need strong people by her side and like Hani said, if you're not up to it then you need to let us heal her without you."

Tamaki whispered angrily, "If you think for one damn minute that I would just leave her then you are out of your fucking mind. I will not abandon her…not even if she hurts me. She is our family and you don't abandon family."

The twins and Mori answered by sitting down in the surrounding chairs, the looks on their faces speaking louder than any words. They all turned to look at Haruhi just in time to see her flinch in her sleep and as if she sensed them she shot up with a gasp, her eyes wide open.

When she turned towards them they all noted the flash of fear in her eyes and knew exactly what Hani meant when he said she would break their hearts. Her ever expressive eyes couldn't hide the anxiety she felt at their presence and even though it hurt they smiled at her. When her eyes landed on the twins she averted her gaze, her face flushing red as she bit down much too hard on her plump bottom lip.

The twins noticed immediately and an emotional Hikaru's eyes widened before he stepped forward and asked in a small hurt voice, "Why don't you want to look at us Haruhi?"

At Hikaru's question Haruhi's head snapped up, her eyes wide with anger and confusion.

"Me! It's you and Kaoru who can't stand to look at me so don't put that on me!"

Hikaru took a step back in his shock before Kaoru but his hand on his brother's trembling shoulder and gently asked, "Haruhi, what are you talking about?"

Tears of anger and hurt gathered in her eyes as she snapped, "Don't play dumb with me Kaoru, it's kinda hard not to notice how you could barely look at me."

Before Kaoru or Hikaru could explain she continued in a sad whisper, "Am I so disgusting that you can't even look at me anymore? I…I tried to wash him away but it didn't work…I'm sorry."

A chorus of gasps filled the room as the boys were faced with their first obstacle in the healing of Haruhi.

* * *

A/n: I mean no offense by Haruhi's comment, I just wrote the reality of what a rape victim sometimes deals with emotionally. I would love to hear what you guys think, reviews are awesome!


	4. Chapter 4

a/n: This chapter is dedicated to a reviewer who I shared a very important conversation with. You know who you are. To all my other reviewers and followers, etc…thank you! You guys are awesome.

I realized that in my writing I seem to be focusing on two specific hosts. Kyoya and Hani, others have noticed this as well. I created a persona and grown up image for Hani that Haruhi seems to gravitate to but she seems to also turn to Kyoya as well. So because I write chapter by chapter I am just going to see where I end up. Then again, she has a lot of healing to do before she even THINKS about a relationship so we'll see. I wrote this while sleep deprived so I apologize for any grammatical errors. Enjoy!

Chapter 4

"You're wrong."

Haruhi turned towards Hikaru but refused to look into his eyes, "Am I? I know you Hikaru, and I would have to be blind _and_ stupid to not see that you can hardly stand to be around me."

She jerked back when Hikaru took a step towards her again, his fists clenched tight and his body trembling from trying to contain his anger and hurt. "If that is really what you think then obviously you _don't _know me. I look at you and I….I am speechless. I look at you and I see how beautiful you are and I see your strength and courage but do you want to know what I don't see. I _don't _see this disgusting person who you accuse me of seeing and I sure as hell don't see that monster when I look at you."

Haruhi shook her head, her tears falling like diamonds from her long lashes. "No. Don't lie to me. I saw the look in your eyes Hikaru, I make you uncomfortable."

"No!"

Hikaru raised his arm to wipe away his own tears, hating that she thought so little of him but refusing to let his upset control him. Taking a deep breath he looked her straight in the eyes, willing her to see what he had been trying to hide from her. "No Haruhi. Please…look at me. I'm not good with my words so please just look at me, look at us..."

Both boys stared at her and past the pain in their eyes Haruhi could see guilt and it left her confused.

"Why?"

She didn't need to elaborate, the twins knew very well what she was asking.

Kaoru whispered, "We took you for granted. Almost every day we sent you out the door because we thought it was_ fun_ to annoy you, and on that day… we gave that bastard the chance he had been waiting for. You have so much to deal with already Haruhi and we just want to be here for you…we didn't want you to try to fix us when you need to think about you. And like we always seem to do…we just made things worse."

Haruhi stared at the twins with wide glistening eyes and she _really_ looked. They were beautiful boys, she had thought so when she had first seen them but Haruhi had never been one to be influenced by outer beauty. The first time she had looked into their amber eyes she had seen what really made them beautiful. They were complex creatures, turning the world around them into one big game that ensured they would always win, but they had let her in. They had allowed her into their world because she had taken the time to _see_ Kaoru and Hikaru, not the Hitachiin twins. She had become precious to them…and they had managed to become precious to her.

Kaoru took a step forward, and then another until he stood two feet in front of her. "There is nothing in this world, _nothing_ that would ever make us see you as anything but amazing Haruhi."

"That's how we see you Haruhi and we are so sorry that we made you think otherwise." Hikaru said, moving forward to stand beside his brother.

She reached up and hesitantly wiped the boys faces free of their tears, one by one while gently speaking to them.

"You are my friends and had you known he was out there waiting for me, I know that you would have protected me. I don't blame you and you shouldn't blame yourself. You all came when I called and that was more than enough. You all saved me."

Her reassurance only caused more tears to fall until her hands were useless. "I never felt taken for granted. I never doubted how much you care…you show it. It's not obvious to others but I have always seen it."

She pulled away, a tired smile on her face at the relief in their eyes. "I care too, you both are irreplaceable to me. I want you to know that."

"Haruhi."

She turned towards Tamaki and the others when Tamaki called her name. "You…you are irreplaceable too. You aren't a lingering presence to us and no matter how broken you may feel we aren't going to let you fade away. We won't leave you. We want _you_ to know that."

She understood his words and she could feel his sincerity, Tamaki didn't know how to lie. Yet still…she felt alone.

~oOo~

Kyoya shot up in bed, his heart beating wildly at the sudden shrill sound of his ringing phone. He turned towards his clock, bright red numbers nearly blinding him reading 2:32 am. Who the hell would call him at 2 fucking am? Grabbing his phone he raised it in front of his face and as the name registered in his waking mind he quickly answered it.

"Ranka? Is everything okay? Is Haruhi okay?"

All he could hear was Ranka's sobs and the sound of him crying was enough for Kyoya to jump out of bed.

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

He hung up the phone, running around the room in his black silk pajama bottoms looking for a tee shirt. He didn't know what to do, he never knew what to do lately. Picking up his shoes and grabbing his phone he ran out of his room, swiping the keys from the table near the door.

The drive to Haruhi's apartment was like a dream, he barely even remembered calling the others when he pulled up in front of her home. The lights were on, every single one them. He jumped out of the car and ran, skipping steps of the stairs until he was in front of her door. He knocked and then twisted the door knob, not able to wait. His breath held when there was no resistance, pushing the door open and closed behind him he followed the sound of crying.

Walking into Haruhi's room his eyes landed first on Ranka who was sitting with his back against the wall closest to the door, his knees up and his head buried in his hands as he cried. He slowly panned the room until his grey eyes fell on a huddled figure in the farthest corner of the room.

She made no noise, just stared at him…past him. She was tiny, but somehow she looked smaller, so delicate that even a single caress could shatter her. He took a step towards her, fully prepared to take her in his arms but Ranka stopped him.

"Stop. If you touch her...if you get to close…she'll scream."

Once again, Kyoya didn't know what to do. He was an expert at nearly everything he did, nothing challenged him. Not his brothers, not his father, nothing. He always had the answers but when he needed them the most, when he prayed for them...he heard only silence.

He stood staring at Haruhi, amazed that even in her pain she was still beautiful. She was like one of those porcelain dolls, each feature created to complement the other in the most innocent of ways. Like a porcelain doll though, when broken it was not easy to put the pieces back together, and even if one were to have the time and patience the doll would never be the same.

He heard the sound of multiple footsteps, the others somehow arriving all at the same time. When he felt their presence behind him he said without turning to look at them, "Ranka said she will scream if we get to close."

It was quiet for several minutes until Hani stepped around him and around Haruhi's bed. They all tensed, waiting for Hani to make the mistake of touching her but instead he sat with his back to the end of the side of her bed. Then he started to talk to her.

"Hey baby girl, quite a morning huh? I was having trouble sleeping too, so I decided to come on over to hang out with you. You don't seem up for much talking though, that's okay. I don't mind doing the talking."

The boys took Hani's lead, settling themselves around the room but not too close to Haruhi. Some were on the bed and others on the floor, soon they all were speaking to her like she was listening.

An hour into their joking and sharing, Haruhi raised her head and looked at them all. "I saw him in the corner of my room. It was so real."

Hani held out his hand to her, letting her decide if she wanted to take it. After a minute or so she crawled over to him and placed her hand in his, sitting beside him with her head on his shoulder. Afraid that if all of them approached her it would scare her the others remained were they were.

"Haruhi, there is no possible way he could be here…or anywhere. I know it won't take away your fear, but I want it to be some comfort to you to know that he can never hurt you again."

"You killed him, didn't you Hani sempai."

Hani was silent, trying to carefully choose his words. "I did not kill him. I did make him wish he would die…but I did not kill him."

"Is he still alive then?"

"No."

"Did he hurt?"

"Haruhi…"

"Please Hani. I want to know."

"Yes…he hurt. He begged…"

"Good. Hani, I'm scared. The world scares me, the people in it terrify me. What do I do?"

"Exactly what you are doing sweet heart. You acknowledge these feelings and you talk about them. You figure out what you want and who you want to be, and you work towards that. We will be by your side all the way."

It was quiet for a long time after that, everybody lost in their thoughts until Haruhi said, "You're not the same Hani. You're like me, you all are. Instead of you trying to fix me, maybe we should all fix one another."

~oOo~

Haruhi woke up on her bed, she could hear soft conversation and dishes clanging in the kitchen. As she sat up and stretched she noticed she was alone. She took the time to remember the night before. She had known that Kimura wasn't real, her mind tried to rationalize it yet still her fear took over and paralyzed her. Even the thought of physical touch terrified her in the state she found herself in, and when her father had tried to comfort her all she could see and feel were hands. Unwanted touch.

She knew she needed help, she couldn't stand the idea of her father and friends being put through that again. The thought of actually talking about what had happened, remembering the details on purpose when all she wanted to do was bury them seemed like torture. Yet it was her only option. She wanted to be strong again.

She thought of her boys and how much this whole nightmare had changed them. Hikaru and Kaoru were so very careful with her when before they smothered her with their affection. She was grateful for their thoughtfulness because she found that unless she initiated contact, touch scared her.

Tamaki…a single look into his eyes and she knew that his innocence was shattered. He was always so full of childlike wonder and now, having seen how cruel the world could be, he was lost. There was almost no trace of the Tamaki she once knew and she realized that she had to come to terms with the fact that even if he were to heal, just like her he would never be the same.

Mori. He was quite as ever but he didn't need to say a word for her to see. He had closed himself off nearly as much as she had, if not more. He cared so much and so deeply, he took so much pride in the fact that he protected what he cherished. Haruhi had always felt so privileged to know that he considered her someone he would do anything to protect. He spoke with his actions, and it had always been enough. Now though, even though she was home, she could see that he didn't know how to protect her from herself. It was eating away at him.

Then there was Kyoya. She had likened him to the shadows several times, knowing that he had a big heart but never really understanding just how much he cared for her. He had never faced a problem he couldn't handle before, there was never a situation that was too much for him and yet, when he looked at her she saw fear. His fear had broken down his walls, but in a way that was so unhealthy that she feared he would become so focused on healing her he would neglect himself.

Then there was Hani, Hani who had admitted to her that he had basically tortured a man short of killing him. Despite his abilities she knew that Hani had never used his skills to do whatever it was that he had done and the fact that he had been willing to do them…it was enough to tell her just how much he had been affected by her abduction. He seemed as if he had held it together the most out of all the boys but she knew better. He like Tamaki had his innocence shattered. The situation had darkened his heart. The difference with Hani was he would not admit it, being the oldest of them all he felt as if it was his duty to take care of them, therefore just like Kyoya he would forget to take care of himself.

She knew them and she was not so stubborn to admit that they knew her. They needed one another, and she needed to get help but so did they. She felt weak and everything seemed to frighten her but she knew the only way she could heal was if they were willing to heal to, maybe they could learn not to feel alone together.

* * *

a/n: Sleep! I can't help but feel this wasn't as well written but I did my best with my eyes half open here. I'm just trying to build up the new relationship/bonds between these guys, and I hope I am succeeding. Review please!


	5. Chapter 5

a/n: So sorry for the wait. The last two weeks have been crazy with studying for finals and all. This chapter is not my favorite but it is needed for the flow of the rest of the story. I apologize for any grammatical errors. Enjoy!

Chapter 5

Ranka moved around the kitchen, his movements robotic in his exhaustion as he cooked breakfast for the equally exhausted boys sitting around the table in the dining room. He glanced towards Haruhi's door, grateful that the boys had managed to calm her down and get her into her bed. She seemed more herself when they were near and if he were honest with himself, he was more than a little bit jealous. When he had heard her scream he had hit the floor, blankets tangled around his legs as he rushed towards his daughter's room. As he stood in her doorway his heart broke at the sight of his little girl huddled in the corner of her room, rocking back and forth with tears on her face.

When he approached her, the sound of her scream made him jump back and then try to reach forward to comfort her again. He realized quickly that the closer he got the louder her screams became so he immediately backed away until she could no longer see him. He was at a loss and the only thing he could think to do was call the only other people she allowed near her other than himself.

He had made the right decision. Despite his jealousy he was so very grateful for the boys who loved his daughter enough to stand beside her even when she pushed them away.

"Fujioka-san?

Ranka turned towards the oldest of the boys who seemed to have the most calming effect on Haruhi but who also seemed the most damaged aside from his daughter. The young man standing behind him was so different from the boy who he had first met and Ranka couldn't say that the changes were all good. He had lost the wide eyed innocence and childish behavior that had defined him and as much as Ranka hated to admit it, the person who he had been would not have been able to be there for Haruhi the way she needed him to.

"Yes?"

"Are you okay?"

Ranka stared down into the pot of miso soup, his throat tightening as he fought another wave of tears. "Honestly…no. I'm not okay. My daughter is falling apart and I am just floundering here. I should have been the one to figure out how to help her last night but all I did was fall apart right alongside her. I don't know how to do what you did for her when all I want to do is take my little girl in my arms and make her okay again. I'm not ungrateful, there are really no words to describe how thankful I am …but I can't let you be strong for the both of us. I have to be able to help her without relying on you."

Hani went to lean against the counter beside Ranka, his arms crossed over his chest as he stared at the group of tired boys in the tiny dining room. "Can I be frank with you Fujioka-san?"

"Of course."

Hani turned to look at Ranka with intense hazel eyes that were much to mature for someone so young. "You need a support system just as much as Haruhi does, if you try to do this on your own it might do more damage than good. It is okay to rely on us because believe me, we all rely heavily on one another."

Ranka turned back to the soup, lazily stirring the broth before asking, his voice filled with uncertainty, "Today is her first appointment with the therapist…do you think that it will help her?"

Hani frowned down at the tiled floor, he didn't know how getting Haruhi to talk about what happened to her would help. From the moment the doctor had suggested a psychiatrist both Hani and Mori had been doubtful of the usefulness of a shrink. Tamaki though, claimed that Hani would be surprised at what a psychiatrist could do for Haruhi and Hani trusted Tamaki. If he said that it could help, then he would believe him.

"I do. We found her the best and while I don't expect her to heal overnight this can only be good for her. She needs this," he answered, though he sounded like he was trying to convince himself as well.

Ranka began to set up the steamed rice and miso soup in bowls he tilted his head towards the beautiful boy, "Maybe you should consider speaking to someone as well. You hide it well Mitsukuni Haninozuka but if I can see how this has affected you I promise you that Haruhi can see it as well. I don't know the specifics but I know that you did something that goes against your very being…you did it for her. I know that you can't admit to a professional what you did, but I am here and you have your friends. They won't judge you and neither will I."

Hani tensed and pushed away from the counter, "I didn't kill him."

Ranka handed him the tray with the soups and picked up the one with the rice, "I know, but if you had it wouldn't change how the people who care about you feel. You protected her in the only way you knew how…you slayed her monster for her at the cost of your own morals."

"He hurt her…so I hurt him. It was as simple as that."

"No Hani, it is not as simple as that."

With a sigh Ranka headed to the dining room, knowing that it would take time for Hani to heal just as it would for Haruhi.

~oOo~

Haruhi sat in a comfortable black leather couch, her heart pounding with unreasonable fear as the woman across from her smiled gently at her.

"I don't know what you want me to say."

Dr. Kaede Yamada shook her head "You can say anything you want."

"But…I…I have nothing to say."

Kaede nodded her head, "Okay, well how about we get to know one another. What do you think about that idea?"

Haruhi hesitantly nodded. "That's okay I guess."

Kaede leaned forward clasping her hands together with a smile still on her face. "I'll start. I am Kaede Yamada which you already know. I have been a licensed psychiatrist now for 12 years and I enjoy what I do immensely because I am part of a healing process. I help people be who they once were or become who they are supposed to be…it makes me proud to be part of something so important. I help people be okay again. I am 42 years old with two children, a boy who is 19 and a girl who is 17. My husband Eiji passed away about 9 years ago, it was very hard for me to see him suffer like he did. He was the love of my life and I miss him every day. It took me a little while to realize that even though I will never love someone like I did him that doesn't mean I will never love again. I lost both of my parents not long after that to a home invasion, it was possibly the lowest moment in my life to have lost so much in such a small amount of time. It took me much longer than it should have to open my eyes to see that even though my husband and parents were gone my children were very much alive. Their very existence and with the help of my friends I was able to learn how to live again. Okay, now it's your turn."

Haruhi stared at the woman who had so easily shared such intimate details about her life, suddenly uncomfortable with what the doctor expected from her. She couldn't give the woman what she wanted. Before she went into a full blown panic Dr. Yamada smiled and softly said to her, "You only have to tell me what you feel comfortable with Haruhi, no more and no less."

It was silent while Haruhi calmed down enough to consider what she was willing to share with the stranger. Dr. Yamada could see the struggle in Haruhi's big brown eyes, perhaps the most expressive eyes Kaede had ever seen. "This is a safe place Haruhi. Nothing you say when you are in this room with me will be repeated without your express permission."

Haruhi cleared her throat and clasped her hands in front of her. She could do this, it wasn't like the woman was asking her to bare her soul to her. With a deep breath Haruhi's began to speak, "I'm Haruhi Fujioka…I'm 16 and I uh…I go to Ouran Academy. My mom died when I was five…I don't have many memories of her but I remember she loved me. She must have been an amazing person to accept my father for who he is, not many people in this world are so accepting of a man with his preferences. She loved him though…and my father loves her still. My dad…he is a really good man and I know he worries about how his lifestyle may be negatively impacting me...but I don't think it does. I would never want him to be anybody other than who he is."

Dr. Yamada nodded, "That was perfect Haruhi. It is nice to know you," with that she held out her hand for Haruhi to take. Haruhi hesitantly reached out to shake her head.

"Now we are not so strange to one another are we?"

Haruhi gave her a small smile. She liked Dr. Kaede Yamada, she was very good at reading people and she could tell that this no longer stranger was a genuinely kind and caring person. She also knew that the boys had all agreed that she was the best person not for Haruhi so she had to be very good at her job.

"I suppose not."

~oOo~

Haruhi stopped and turned, her eyes searching the crowd behind her.

"Sweetheart, are you okay?"

Without turning towards her father she nodded, "I'm fine dad…just…it felt like someone was watching me."

Instead of brushing it off Ranka began scanning the area, not willing to take the chance that Haruhi was wrong. There were simply too many people though. He felt Haruhi grab his hand and tug him away.

"It's okay dad. Let's go home."

~oOo~

He watched her stop and turn towards him, searching for him. He made a sharp right into the alley next to him cursing her instincts. It was through her that he would make his father proud, and he didn't give a damn who got hurt in the process

* * *

a/n: I know it is short, and it certainly is not my best but the story should pick up after Chapter 6. I just want to make clear that Kimura is dead, the person watching her is not necessarily a bad guy, just a very selfish one. Reviews are inspiration!


	6. Chapter 6

a/n: I apologize for any grammatical errors. Be kind. Enjoy!

Chapter 6

1 month later

It was a beautiful day, a day worth noticing…worth remembering. Haruhi hadn't yet taken the time to appreciate the fact that she could actually enjoy her day until Kaede had asked her what she did for fun. She _used_ to take walks in the park and feed the ducks, sometimes she would sit in this cute little café where aspiring writers would bravely share their work with strangers. She missed it, she missed not being scared to live her life but Kaede told her that baby steps were much more effective than big leaps. Every step no matter how small was a step just the same, and so today she would take her first step.

She picked up her cellphone and dialed the twin's number. It barely reached its second ring when Hikaru's voice came through, anxiety lacing his tone. "Haruhi? Are you alright?"

"I'm okay…I was just wondering if you and the others were busy today?"

It was quiet for a bit before Hikaru hesitantly answered, "No…I think we are all free. Why?"

"I...it's okay if you don't want to but umm…I want to go to the park but I don't want to go alone. I thought maybe we could make a day out of you know. I could even make some lunch so we could have a picnic…maybe…"

It was quiet again and Haruhi was tempted to end the call until she heard the voice of both twins excitedly say, "Yes! We'll tell the others."

She let out a sigh of relief and finished up the call. It was going to be a good day.

~oOo~

"My dad needs to go back to work. He's worried about leaving me alone."

Tamaki threw another piece of bread in the water and turned towards Haruhi, his violet eyes taking her in. She had gained weight, she looked healthy and though it was so very hard to see…she was getting better. She was different, but still absolutely beautiful even in her pain. He didn't think he would ever find someone as strong or as resilient as Haruhi. She was a survivor but he had to teach himself how to treat her as more than what she survived.

"Are you worried about being alone?"

She looked up at him, her big chocolate brown eyes flickering as she thought about his question. "I am, but he has been out of work for too long. I have to be practical about this, there are bills that need to be paid and groceries to be bought. He doesn't want to leave me and I don't want to be alone but we can't stay frozen while the world moves on around us. We have to learn how to live again."

They all understood, even though they also wanted to be with her 24/7 they knew it wasn't good for her and it wasn't good for them. It was important to stand beside her, but also equally important not to become a crutch for her. It was quiet again, each of them just enjoying the day. It was amazing how the sound of ducks quacking and kids playing could somehow be soothing but it just was. It stayed that way for almost half an hour when their serene little bubble was invaded by a barely three foot cherub with a smudge of dirt across her nose. She stumbled near their picnic blanket and Mori instinctively reached out to steady her. She looked up at him with big brown eyes full of awe as she took in the group around her.

She smiled shyly and clasped her hands in front of her before turning her head to the side and whispering "Hewwo."

Haruhi watched as Mori bent his head down to smile gently at the little girl, "Hello."

She peeked at him through her messy nearly black hair her cheeks pink from a childish blush and timidly apologized, "I'm sowwy I bwoke you pwicnic."

Mori playfully reached out and pinched her nose, "Does it look broken to you?"

She turned towards the half eaten items, her eager eyes landing on of the many small cakes Hani provided. Some things just were so ingrained in a person that nothing could erase its existence and Hani's love for sweets was thankfully one of them. The little girl stared at the cakes and shook her head, "No sir, speshlly' not the cake."

And then Haruhi giggled. It turned all of their heads, the sounds was so natural, like it hadn't hidden itself away beneath all her fear and pain. For that one amazing moment she was whole again, the fire that had been snuffed out so brutally inside of her showed signs of life. Those small embers might as well have been a raging inferno to them, for the hope that it gave them. If one needed an example of what 'heartbreakingly beautiful' looked like all they would have to do was look at Haruhi, for in that brief moment the pieces of her gathered together for a glimpse of what she could be. She could be happy. It was proof to them that the human spirit was stronger than the harsh realities it can be faced with.

Tamaki immediately reached out and pushed the plate with the cake towards Mori and the child.

"Would you like some?"

Her innocent eyes widened, looking at him as if he had offered her some grand treasure. He supposed to a child it was. She whispered "Weally?"

Before he could answer a woman's frantic cries interrupted him, "Nanami! Nanami where are you?"

The little girl turned towards the woman and turned back to him, "I gotta go. Bye!"

She gave one more beaming smile and with a wave she was off again. They all watched her run into the woman's, presumably her mothers, arms. That little girl would never know that she had given them something that no amount of money could ever hope to buy. Hope.

They spent another hour at the park before walking Haruhi home. It had been a perfect day, nothing could have ruined it. Nothing except the feeling of being followed. They all shared a look, not wanting to alarm Haruhi. Hani turned towards Mori and gave a subtle nod, barely even noticeable. Mori slowed down until they all had passed him before slowly turning, looking over the crowd. He was not a paranoid man, he was smart and he was careful but most of all he was incredibly protective of those who he cared about. He knew there was someone watching them…watching Haruhi. Whoever it was had better pray to whatever God they believed in that he never found them, and even then their prayers would be futile. His intense grey eyes took in everything but found nothing, even the feeling of being watched was gone.

"Mori?"

He turned towards Haruhi, his eyes softening under curios gaze, "Is everything okay Mori?"

With a nod he hurried to catch up to them, catching Hani's eye and shaking his head. He turned to Haruhi again, soothing her with a hand on her head. "Everything is fine Haruhi. Let's go."

Haruhi knew though that everything was not fine because Mori didn't ever really speak with his words, he spoke with his eyes and in his eyes she could see something was wrong. Haruhi knew thought that the boys would keep her safe this time yet still her heart was pounding in fear.

~oOo~

"I went to the park yesterday."

Kaede smiled, "Really? Did you enjoy yourself?"

Haruhi turned to look out the window that overlooked the city, a faraway look in her eyes, "Yes, very much so. There was a little girl there, she had dirt on her nose and her hair was in desperate need of a brush. Tamaki offered her some cake and she looked like the he had given her the world. It made me think, that it takes such simple things to make us happy when we are young…but as we get older we demand so much more. We set impossible standards for our happiness, putting it always out of our own reach.

Kaede stared at her, her smile gone as she considered Haruhi's words. "This is true for some, but not for all. It doesn't have to be true for you. For a little girl a piece of cake was happiness, so my question Haruhi, what is happiness for you?"

Haruhi turned back to Kaede her brow furrowed as she considered Kaede's question. It was a difficult question, one that she had never been asked before. "Before my dream of being like my mother made me happy. My father and friends made me happy. I was happy. Now though…I don't know what happiness is for me. Happiness has become the dream, a dream that is suffocated by my nightmares."

"How are your nightmares Haruhi? Are you sleeping better?"

Haruhi grew both quiet and still, her fists clenching as she closed her eyes. Kaede found herself tensing, she knew that Haruhi was about to share with her the subject that they had been working towards for a month.

With a deep shuddering breath Haruhi opened her eyes and said, "He haunts me. There is hardly a night that I don't wake up screaming or paralyzed from fear. For those few minutes, sometimes hours it's like I never escaped. Sometimes I wonder if this is all a delusion and the reality is that I am still chained up to that wall, waiting to die. Wanting to die."

Kaede leaned forward, "Haruhi, this is real. You, despite all the cards stacked against you, saw a chance at freedom and took it. You fought."

Tears filled Haruhi's eyes for the first time while speaking to Kaede, "I had given up…that day I had given up. Three months seems like such a short time to give up hope…but those days that led into weeks and into those months may as well have been years. Fighting to live became so hard when it was so much easier to die."

"You still fought Haruhi. What was it that went through your head when you realized you had a chance to escape? What did you feel?"

"I thought…I thought that I had been given a chance and that for not only my sake but for the other girls I needed to take it. When I stood by that door waiting for him, I felt hope. When he was unconscious I felt joy."

"That hardly sounds like giving up to me. Hope doesn't so easily die, nor does the will to live."

Haruhi shook her head, "Why won't he leave me alone?"

"Haruhi, you suffered from a prolonged traumatic experience. These experiences have side effects, like your nightmares. Your fear, your feelings of vulnerability and helplessness…it's like an open wound. Without treatment the pain will only grow and begin to fester, it needs help so that it can heal properly. There will be a scar, and when you look at it you may remember just how painful that wound was, but you must also remember that to have that memory means you survived it. You get to live your life despite that scar, but it's up to you how you want to live it."

"It doesn't feel like a wound…it feels like a gaping hole. He took something from me and I don't know how to get it back."

"He took many things from you Haruhi, things that weren't his to take. That something is not gone, it has been damaged but I can assure you that given some time you will feel that hole begin to close."

Haruhi grabbed a tissue from the coffee table in front of her and whispered, "I hope your right."

Kaede smiled, "I have yet to ever be wrong."

And somehow, that one confident statement comforted Haruhi.

* * *

a/n: I hope very much that I did a good job with the therapy session. I have received some amazing reviews, especially about Haruhi's state of mind after being violated. I have never been hurt like that, and it is hard for me to even write about it because I have to put myself in a dark place. I want those emotions to be portrayed with grace but as real as my limited skills will allow me to write and this chapter was a test for me. So reviews would be very much appreciated. No flames, but if you have any advice I sure do need it. Thank you.


	7. Chapter 7

A/n: So sorry about the lack of updates. Summer classes are more stressful than fall and spring, more work and less time for other, more enjoyable activities...like sleep. I apologize for any grammatical errors, I don't have a beta so what you read is me, mistakes and all. Enjoy.

Chapter 7

The oldest of the Ouran boys all gathered in the Haninozuka great room, all in their respective corners waiting for the twins to join them. Tamaki was leaning on his arm that rested on the wall above his head staring out the window as he was prone to do, his brilliant mind running in circles. They finally had Haruhi back, and she was finally getting better and now this. He turned to his best friend who was leaning with his back against the opposite side of the window his arms crossed over his chest, his pose looked relaxed but Tamaki knew better. They were all worried and honestly pissed off that the world wouldn't just leave Haruhi be.

The doors opened and they all turned towards the identical brothers as they joined Mori on the couch. Now that they were all there they needed to figure out a game plan. They all turned towards the one person who they found they looked to for answers more often than not. It was as natural as breathing for them to depend on him when he always seemed so calm and handled everything with such ease. Hani was lying on the loveseat with one leg hanging over the side and his arm flung over his eyes, his blond hair in disarray and his jaw clenched in anger.

His arm slid off his face as he turned his head towards them, his whiskey colored eyes dark as he contemplated what their next move would be. "She already knows someone is following her. She was watching for a reaction from us yesterday...she wanted confirmation which means it's happened more than once."

Kyoya took off his glasses and rubbed his hand roughly over his face, "So what do we do? We find out who this bastard is but do we tell Haruhi? I mean...does she really have to know how we go about keeping her safe?"

Hikaru nodded, "Yeah...I don't like keeping stuff from her but at this point shouldn't we try to protect her mind just as much as the rest of her. I don't want her to have to deal with this when we are fully capable of doing it on our own."

His brother was about to nod in full agreement but froze when Hani shook his head, "No. We tell her."

Hikaru turned to Hani and narrowed his eyes, "Why? What purpose would it serve but to scare her? Hasn't she been terrified enough for a lifetime? She doesn't need to know."

The others tensed, sensing the change in the room as the two most volatile members of their group glared at one another.

When Hani spoke the threat in his voice was clear, "I think I may need a bit of clarification, because its sounds like you are implying that I don't have Haruhi's best interest at heart. If that is in fact what you are saying then perhaps I should enlighten you Hitachiin. You are looking at the surface of Haruhi, the girl who suffered and is scarred. I am looking past those scars, something that you can't seem to do. She would want to know, even if it scares her. I _respect_ her enough to not keep this from her. Can you say the same?"

Hikaru snarled, "I want her safe at all costs, even if that means lying to her. You're making a mistake Hani, all you're going to do is set her back. Do you really want that?"

Hani chuckled darkly, "You're trying to manipulate me. It would be amusing if it wasn't so fucking insulting. You really have no faith in Haruhi do you? You ask me if I want to set her back...well it's my turn for a question. Do you really think Haruhi is that weak?"

Tamaki curled his fingers in his hair and pulled, two of his best friends were about to fight...and he wasn't sure what to do. But there was one person in the room who did, the only person who could calm down at least one of the angry boys.

Mori stood behind the seat that Hani was lying on and looked down at his cousin. "Hani, how is this going to help Haruhi? We are all angry, worried and scared but taking it out on each other will do nothing but hurt who you are trying to protect. We all want to keep Haruhi safe, and that is the purpose of this meeting. So instead of bickering, let's figure out what the hell we are going to do and sort out the details later."

Hani took in a deep breath and closed his eyes. Mori was right. He rubbed his wrists over his tired...no, exhausted eyes. He hardly ever lost control, he prided himself on his ability to keep his cool. Always, even before Haruhi had been taken he never fully let his control slip. As he looked back up at the others he saw their eyes begging him for answers he didn't have...couldn't they see that he was just as lost as they were? He turned to Hikaru and saw a reflection of the same type of exhaustion and stress he felt.

Hikaru looked down unable to keep eye contact with Hani, because he was ashamed of his behavior. He had intentionally provoked the older boy, knowing that Hani was close enough to the edge to give him a reaction. He had needed someone to attack and made the mistake of targeting his most dangerous friend. Even though he could see the apology in Hani's eyes, the things that Hani had said stung. The truth hurt. Hani was right, Hikaru looked at Haruhi and all he wanted to do was shelter her. He looked at her and all he could see was her pain...he didn't know how to look past it to see what she needed like Hani did. He wanted to be able to do that, to be what Haruhi needed. To be all that she needed. But he wasn't strong enough to be that for her...he would never abandon her but he would never be for her what Hani was. He would stand by her and be a pillar of strength if she ever needed him but he knew that he could never be her anchor.

"I'm sorry Hani sempai that was uncalled for. You would never do anything to hurt Haruhi and I trust your judgment. I shouldn't have implied otherwise."

Hani closed his eyes again, "I want her to get better Hikaru but I don't want her to be weakened by us. I don't want to tell her but she needs to be told, we can't be people who lie to her. We have to continue to be her truth."

This was why they turned to Hani. As hard as everything was for him and as lost as he may feel, he kept them strong. He kept them on the right path.

Hikaru nodded, "You're right. Okay…what do we do?"

Hani sat up and ran his hand through his hair, "We have our own people follow her, different ones every day so that whoever is watching her doesn't catch on. Our people will be looking for them while they are busy watching Haruhi. When they find whoever it is, we let Haruhi decide what she wants us to do. We give her power over the situation."

~oOo~

Haruhi sat cross-legged on her bed trying to focus on the anatomy book in front of her, but found herself reading the same paragraph over and over again. Focusing on studying was nearly impossible when she knew there was someone out there following her. A part of her wanted to let her fear take over, to just crawl into a corner and cry and scream. Sometimes that part of her felt so strong that it nearly overwhelmed her. It would be so easy to just fall back into the abyss...but then she remembered that if she fell she wouldn't fall alone. She would drag all the people who she cared about down the same dark road they all were working so hard to escape from. She couldn't do that, not to them and especially not to herself.

She wanted to be strong, but at the same time she knew that somewhere in the crowds of people around her somebody was watching her. She could feel them, and if not for her boys reaction on the day of their picnic she would have thought it was simply paranoia. They tried to hide their own awareness but Haruhi was nothing if not perceptive, the moment she felt unwanted eyes on her, her eyes were on her friends. When they didn't question her about it she thought maybe they would try to deal with the situation without her. She prayed they wouldn't lie to her. She wanted to know. If they did try to keep her in the dark she wasn't sure how she would react even though she would understand why they would choose to not tell her.

They only wanted to protect her and she trusted them to. She knew they would take care of her...but she hoped that one day she would be strong enough to take care of herself like she had before. She thought back to the day when they had all gone to the beach and she had tried to fight off the older boys on the cliff by herself. Tamaki had been angry at her for trying to deal with the boys on her own and it had taken Kyoya's demonstration in his bedroom to show her the possible consequences of her need for independence. Independence was a good thing, it made a person strong...but too much of it could isolate you. It could make it hard for a person to accept help from others. Her friends had taught her that very important lesson and with time she began to depend on her boys. This was different though. She wanted her boys to save her but she also didn't want to forget how much pride she took in being able to save herself. She knew this wasn't the situation to make a point but she didn't want to be left out of something that was about her own safety. Even though she felt like a piece of glass didn't mean she wanted them to treat her like one.

She breathed out loudly through her nose and rose from her bed, stretching her arms above her head and standing on her tiptoes groaning at the popping of her stiff joints. It was her dad's first day back to work, and despite his requests they had scheduled him for the night shift. After all the allowances his job made for him there was no way he could argue their decision and she wouldn't want him to. She made her way over to her dad's bedroom and watched from the doorway as he expertly applied his makeup.

Ranka saw his daughter's reflection in the mirror of his vanity and he smiled sadly at her. He really didn't want to leave her but he needed the job and the money, and even though Haruhi understood he was still worried. He hated leaving her alone, but to leave her alone at night...he felt like he was going to throw up. To distract himself he tilted his head in a 'come here' motion and waited for her to sit beside him on the bench like seat.

"Remember when you were little after your mom died, you would come in here and let me put make up on you."

Ranka's breath hitched at the small smile that graced her sad face. She nodded and whispered, "I remember."

She closed her eyes at the feel of the soft bristles against her cheekbone, leaving behind a light pink hue. His daughter was too beautiful for makeup, it distracted from her natural beauty but this moment wasn't about a bit of blush and eye shadow. It was about remembering a time when she had little to fear but thunderstorms. When he was done she opened her eyes and a single tear slid down her cheek. He pulled her into his arms, his cheek lying on the top of her head.

"My sweet girl, I wish I could help you but all I can do is hold you. I wish I could do more."

Haruhi wrapped her tiny arms around her father, the tips of her fingers barely touching, "It's more than enough daddy."

He held her until she was limp in his arms, "Baby…I know you want to be strong on your own, but sometimes you need to let others be strong for you. It doesn't make you weak, I promise it doesn't. Right now, what matters is what will make you feel safe while I am gone. So you tell me what you need to make you feel safe and I promise I will try to get it for you."

Just before she fell asleep she whispered her answer. It didn't surprise Ranka at who she had asked for, because it seemed he was the only person who could reach her in the dark.

Hani.

~oOo~

Hani woke to the sound of his phone ringing and his hand reached out blindly for it. He didn't even look at the name on the screen, his fingers instinctively swiping across the green button in the dark.

His voice was rough from sleep when he answered, "Hello?"

"Hani?"

The sound of Ranka's voice was enough to wake Hani completely up. "Ranka? Is Haruhi okay?"

"She's sleeping. I uh…I'm about to head out to work and I was hoping that maybe you could come over. It would make me feel a whole lot better if you were here with her."

Hani was already up and making his way out to his car. "Of course Ranka, I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Thank you Hani."

On the way to Haruhi's Hani wondered why Ranka had called him when he was so much closer to Kyoya. He wasn't one to let a question go so when Ranka opened the door he set down his keys on the counter and asked, "Why me?"

Ranka gave him a knowing look, "Because she asked for _you_."

* * *

a/n: Heading into new territory here. I chose Hani because I realized that as I was creating a new persona for him I was also creating Haruhi's anchor. Otherwise Hani would never have even been considered as a possible love interest, because honestly I originally was all for Kyoya. He may have another chance though in a new story I am thinking about. As for Haruhi, I know she is hurt and is still trying to heal but I really also don't want a boy or boys to be the sole reason behind her healing process. I don't like that message. When you have people beside you to fight with you that is amazing but it doesn't mean you can't be your own hero. That is my opinion though and it's fine if you don't share it. Thanks for reading and please review!


	8. Chapter 8

a/n: Sorry about lack of updates guys. Real life has been taking up so much of my time it is hard to find a moment to kick back and write. I have a bad case of writers block but I tried my best anyway, I hope you like it. I apologize for any grammatical errors.

Chapter 8

The apartment was quiet as Hani stared at Ranka and tried to figure out what the look in the older man's eyes meant. He took a step back and frowned with confusion. "The others?"

Ranka shook his head, "She just wants you."

Hani didn't know if Ranka understood exactly what he was implying but the very suggestion frightened him. He retreated another step, his back hitting the front door as he shakily whispered, "I need you to be a little clearer than that Ranka-san."

Ranka lifted his chin slightly as he studied the young man who his daughter was unknowingly falling for. He was an incredibly intuitive man, much like his daughter was and it was clear to him that the boys of Ouran's Host Club were in love with Haruhi. They all loved her differently but it was Hani's quiet love that called out to his broken daughter. He knew that most fathers wouldn't even entertain the idea of leaving their daughter alone with a boy but Ranka was obviously not like most fathers. He trusted his daughter and he trusted Hani to not disrespect her.

Hani loved Haruhi in the way a father hopes a man will love his daughter. He was a friend and a protector. He let Haruhi stand on her own two feet and didn't judge her when she needed to borrow his strength. He didn't cower in fear as she screamed and cried, rather he stood strong to catch her when she fell. Hani was exactly what Haruhi needed and Ranka wouldn't let his protective instincts stand in the way of something that was clearly more than an infatuation. The two were both so young and broken, but Ranka knew love when he saw it. He could never deny his daughter the chance to love and be loved, especially after having loved his Kotoko as he had and still did. The problem was that Hani was not only afraid to admit it to himself but he was afraid that Haruhi wouldn't feel the same.

It was honestly a bit of an unwanted shock to see Hani's reaction to the possibility of Haruhi caring about him as more than a friend. The boy was genuinely terrified. While Hani's reaction was confusing Ranka was positive that he wasn't wrong about Hani's feelings for Haruhi.

He frowned down at Hani, "I won't put my daughter in a vulnerable position because you want clarification. If you are going to run then go and I will call one of the others…but know this, if you run you will no longer be welcome near Haruhi. I won't let you hurt her."

Hani's whiskey eyes snapped up as he growled out, "I'm not running."

Ranka's brow lifted, "The look in your eyes and the shaking of your hands says differently,"

Hani shook his head as he pushed away from the door and whispered tightly, "You wouldn't understand."

The older man crossed his arms in front of his chest and whispered just as tightly, "Try me." When Hani remained silent Ranka nodded, "Okay, how about I take a shot at it. You are in love with my daughter Mitsukuni, and you have been in love with her long before she was kidnapped. You love Haruhi but you are scared she doesn't love you back, or worse, she loves you but for all the wrong reasons. Do you think my daughter so weak as to not be able to understand her own feelings? Do you think I would even be talking to you about this if I wasn't sure about how you feel about her?"

Ranka looked towards Haruhi's door with a sad look in his eyes, "She may not be the same person who she was Hani, but I know that as soon as she is better she will be better than any memory I have of who she used to be. Even though she has changed, that does not mean she doesn't know the difference between love and dependency. You insult her by thinking that she isn't strong enough to differentiate the two. So perhaps it is _you_ who has confused his feelings. Tell me something, are you the kind of person who needs to be needed Mitsukuni? Are you the kind of person who will fix what you think is broken and then walk away when you no longer feel needed? If that is the case then you should know that Haruhi doesn't need you to heal. She doesn't need a damn hero because she is going to be her own savior."

Hani's eyes widened and he took a step away from the man who accused him of not really loving Haruhi. How could Ranka think such a thing of him? Couldn't he see that Hani didn't deserve Haruhi even if by some miracle she did want him? He wasn't a good person, he wasn't the same person who could smile through the rain and bury his pain in a damn strawberry cake. He had tortured a man and his only regret was that he hadn't killed the asshole himself. That wasn't the kind of man that Haruhi should have at her side. She deserved someone like Tamaki, who would be the light in her dark…not him. Never him. Despite his belief that he wasn't good enough for Haruhi he couldn't help but defend his feelings.

His voice still cracked with anger when he finally was calm enough to answer Haruhi's father. "I won't let even you Mr. Fujioka, belittle what I feel for your daughter. I am young but I am not as naïve as people like to believe. I just…she deserves so much more than someone like me."

Ranka growled out, "Don't hide behind that excuse young man, especially when it is utter bullshit. My daughter deserves the world and she deserves someone who would give her the world and destroy anybody who threatened to take it from her. My Haruhi wouldn't ask for the world though, all she wants is someone to love her and respect her. You already love her, so how about you respect her enough to let her make her own decision on whether or not you deserve her."

Hani turned away from Ranka and dragged his hand through his sleep tousled hair and closed his tired eyes, and Ranka's angry stare began to soften. "You need to get it out Hani. Even if it is just the tip of the iceberg you need to talk."

Ranka watched as Hani tried to find the correct words, as he tried to calmly give him reasons why he was so scared. Yet when he opened his mouth all that came out was raw emotion. "I don't want to become the crutch she needs to get her through the day. She never looked twice at me before Ranka, so why shouldn't I question if what you say she feels for me isn't dependency? Why shouldn't I question it? I have loved your daughter for so long I forgot what it feels like to not look at her and wish she were mine. I do want her to love me and it has to be the most selfish thing I have ever wanted in my life but I want her to love me because she can't help herself. Not because she needs me to keep going."

He turned and stared out the window, his body trembling with the emotions he usually kept bottled up tightly inside. "Take a good look at me Ranka. I am falling apart and the last thing in this world I want to do is to hurt Haruhi. I'm not good anymore…how in the hell could you possibly want someone like me for someone as amazing as your daughter?"

He turned back to Ranka, his eyes dark and wide as he softly spoke as if to himself, "I love her…I'm not the only one either. The difference with me is that I am scared that I could hurt her. My own issues could be what shatters her and I won't risk it."

Ranka stared long and hard at the poor boy who seemed to need his daughter just as much as she needed him. It was the need that scared Hani…he feared that if she needed him then she truly didn't want him. Though Hani didn't see himself as naïve he was still a boy it seemed. "There is an American writer, I think her name was Barbara. She said something once that I think holds true for all things in this world but especially for you and my Haruhi. She said, 'When the Japanese mend broken objects they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold, because they believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful.' You and Haruhi are each other's gold Hani, you can only make one another more beautiful. I won't push you…I want Haruhi to be fought for not handed someone who had to be forced. I want you to realize something Mitsukuni, while the others may love Haruhi too it wasn't them she asked for. It was you. If it was about a crutch or dependency she could have easily called one of the others. If you love her as much as you say you do then maybe you should let her choose what she wants, instead of taking the choice from her. If you can't handle that then maybe you should step back and let the others care for her."

Hani watched silently as Ranka put on his long faux fur coat and open the front door. "I have to go to work. I don't want her to be alone, but if you don't want to stay with her then call the others before you leave and wait for them to get here. It would be better if you decide before she wakes up, so she will at least understand in some sense that you made a choice."

With that he walked out, shutting the door quietly behind him and leaving Hani alone. He didn't know what to do. He wanted to be with her, the very thought of her being with someone else…especially one of his friends made him feel sick. He had to make a choice, Ranka was right. Before he knew it his feet led him to Haruhi's door and he very carefully opened it so as to not disturb her.

The moonlight shone through the window, illuminating Haruhi's tiny form in an ethereal glow. She was sleeping, her hands curled beneath her cheek and her lips parted as she breathed softly through her mouth. Hani traced her face with his eyes, admiring the delicacy of her features. She really was beautiful.

He watched as her brow furrowed disrupting the peacefulness of her face and without a second thought he sat on her bed beside her. He reached down and ran the pad of his thumb over the apple of her cheek watching as her face relaxed once more. His fingers slid up to run through her hair but then he curled them into a fist and drew his hand away from her, fighting off the need to draw her into his arms. He raised up one knee and rested his arm lazily against it, tilting his head back so that his neck rested on the smooth curve of the wooden headboard. He shouldn't touch her without her permission, no matter how innocent the caress.

Hani smiled at the ceiling, noticing for the first time that it was decorated with glow in the dark stars. It was unlike her…but Hani liked it. She was still a teenage girl beneath her pragmatic and serious personality. She was so different from him, from who he was and it had come as a complete surprise to him when he realized that he cared for her as more than a friend. Hani had always fought for what he wanted but Haruhi clearly looked at him and saw a brother. He would never put her in a position where she would be uncomfortable so he had decided to love her from a distance.

If she had wanted him then he wouldn't have hesitated, he would have treasured her. She would never have doubted how much he loved her. Now…now he was sure that he would only make her worse no matter how much he wanted her. When that monster had taken her, the others had all taken different roads to deal with their grief. Hani's path had been darker than theirs. He didn't know how Haruhi could want him as he was…if she really knew what he had let himself become when she was taken would she feel the same?

"Hani?"

Hani jerked in surprise and looked down into Haruhi's big brown eyes. "You came."

He swallowed the knot in his throat and he knew that no matter how much he felt he didn't deserve her, he would never willingly leave her. "Of course."

He closed his eyes and held his breath when she wrapped her arm around his thigh to use him like a pillow, "Hani, if I ask you something will you promise to tell me the truth?"

Hani looked down at her and knew exactly what she wanted to ask him. "I promise."

"Am I in some kind of danger? Is there someone following me?"

Hani frowned at the hollow tone of her voice, "Haruhi. Haruhi look at me."

Her despondent big brown eyes looked up at him, as empty as her voice. God, how Hani wished he could lie to her. "You don't have to ask me to confirm what you already know. Just know that we will find whoever it is and Haruhi, they will _not_ hurt you. I won't let anybody hurt you again."

Haruhi buried her face in his outer thigh, "I know."

It was quiet for a while and for a bit Hani thought that Haruhi had fallen back to sleep until she whispered, "Thank you for coming Hani."

Hani closed his eyes and took in a deep slow breath. He wouldn't run, he wasn't capable of leaving her. "Always."

~oOo~

"I'm confused."

Kaede looked up from her notes, her brow raising in question at the pretty girl sitting across from her. She placed her clipboard down on the table beside her and gave Haruhi her undivided attention.

"What has you so confused?"

Haruhi frowned and bit her bottom lip, nibbling it in her anxiety. "I…I'm not ready for a relationship…a romantic relationship. The thought scares me, the physical aspect of it at least."

She grew quiet and Kaede waited patiently for her to continue. Haruhi sighed, "Even though I don't think I'm ready I have feelings for one of my best friends and I don't know what to do."

Kaede nodded, "How long have you felt this way for him…or her?"

"Him. I don't know…I do know I…I never even considered him before. He was like an older and younger brother. He was protective and sweet, and he was my friend. I realized I was attracted to him a few months before…before everything happened. He treated me like a little sister though and I was okay with that. Now…he is different Kaede. He looks at me differently and it scares me…but it also makes me happy. I was never very aware but I can see something in his eyes and I don't want it to go away because I am too scared to take a chance."

Kaede smiled, "If he can't wait then he isn't worth it, but Haruhi it is normal for you to fear intimacy. After what you experienced, for you to step into a romantic relationship will be a big step and it should be something we both think you are ready for. Of course the end decision will be yours, but you shouldn't jump into something because you are scared he will change his mind. As for any kind of physical relationship, you are still very young. You are going to be seventeen soon and your first time which should be a woman's gift to a man she cares for was taken from you. You experienced a real nightmare Haruhi. That is not how it should be and I need you to understand that the pain you felt was purposely inflicted. Sex is not meant to be about pain, it is about the connection that two people can make and pleasure. It is a very big decision so when you make the choice, tell yourself it is your first time because in a way it will be."

Haruhi got up and stood in front of the window, her arms crossed protectively in front of her. "How long will I let him stand in the way of me living my life? Why do I still let him do this to me?"

Kaede shook her head even though Haruhi wasn't looking her way, "You're not letting him do anything. If you were, you wouldn't ask yourself those questions. He hurt you Haruhi. He took something from you but you are fighting to take it back. Yes, these obstacles you are facing exist because of him but you are becoming stronger every day. It will take time, but soon you will be able to run without his memory standing in your way."

Haruhi was quiet for a long while before she turned back to Kaede, "Hani is worth it. I don't know if anything will happen between us but he looks at me like I…he looks at me the way my father looked at my mother. I won't take that step until I am ready…until you think I'm ready but I know that he won't hurt me. He won't let my fear drive him away."

Kaede smiled, "He seems like an amazing person."

"All my friends are…but he is special."

~oOo~

Haruhi walked to the cafeteria with a twin on either side of her like guard dogs when she felt it. She could feel the same presence that had been following her for the last few weeks and she instinctively reached out for the twin's hands. They both looked over at her and read the look on her face. Kaoru stayed by her side while Hikaru loudly claimed to have left something in the classroom and veered off to the right.

Kaoru gave her hand a comforting squeeze and whispered, "You're safe Haruhi."

Haruhi was scared but she knew that whoever was watching her had made a mistake. There was no way for them to get into the school without one of the cameras catching them, if they didn't belong here then the boys would know. The only other option was that her stalker belonged here, making them a student or a member of the faculty.

Kaoru let go of her hand and continued to talk to her, "Hikaru is going to message the others, don't worry."

Haruhi's heart was racing as she struggled to keep her tears of fear at bay. Despite her fear she didn't flinch when she felt an arm wrap around her waist because she already knew who it was. Hani's boyishly handsome face was soft and smiling despite the hardness in his eyes, "Kaoru is going to take care of you, don't panic and don't break down. Even if we don't get the bastard today, we will keep you safe. Do you trust us…do you trust _me_?"

Haruhi didn't hesitate, "Yes."

"Good, now be good and have lunch on me."

He dug in his wallet and put a wad of bills in her hand. "Something fancy."

He kissed the crown of her head and left her with Kaoru. He turned towards his cousin who stood at least a head taller than the majority of the rest of the students and silently watched. Mori spoke softly, barely discernable beneath the chatter around them. "Kyoya is checking the surveillance footage, Tamaki is a floor above us to keep a bird's eye view on everybody. Hikaru is checking for possible hiding places."

Hani frowned, "I think it's a student…actually I'm pretty damn positive of it."

"Someone we know?"

"Most likely. We can't let her out of our sight Takashi, I promised her she would be safe."

Mori stared down at his cousin, "Mitsukuni, we can't always be with her."

Hani growled out, "We sure as hell will try until we find out who the hell was stupid enough to target her of all people."

It was quiet as the large hall began to clear. Mori sighed, "You love her."

"Yes, but so do you."

The taller boy shifted uncomfortably, "I do not deny it, but I don't love her like you do."

"You would go crazy if you loved her like I do," he quickly changed the subject, "Not a damn thing. I wonder if any of the others found something."

An hour later and Haruhi was about to burst. She needed to use the restroom and no matter how much the boys wanted to be with her at all times they couldn't follow her there. Everyone was in class, there were cameras everywhere and all she would have to do was scream and someone would come running.

It didn't stop the twins from freaking out when she raised her hand and asked to be excused. She turned to Hikaru first and whispered, "I'll be fine. I'll be right back."

She had to hold out her hand in a stop motion to keep the boys from following her but despite her bravado she practically ran to the restroom. It was ridiculous that she was terrified to even go to the damn toilet and through her fear she felt anger. She didn't deserve this.

She quickly finished her business and began to wash her hands when she heard a familiar voice echo off the restroom walls, "Hello Fujioka."

* * *

a/n: It isn't great but I hope you still found some enjoyment from it. The quote I used was by Barbara Bloom, I posted it on my mom's ceiling when she had cancer and fell in love with it. I'm not sure how to approach the subject of intimacy after what happened to Haruhi, but I began this story knowing it was meant to be a romance. I don't want to rush either characters into something that my readers don't think their ready for so advice is very welcome and reviews are cherished.


	9. Chapter 9

A/n: I do not condone violence. With that said, there is a tiny bit of violence in this chapter, if you aren't sure about reading further I don't mind. I apologize for any grammatical errors, I haven't slept so there may be more than usual. Enjoy!

Chapter 9

Haruhi slowly looked up, fear like a living thing running through her veins when she met the darkly amused gaze in the mirror. She whipped around, her hands gripping the sink behind her so tightly her fingers ached. She didn't understand why Akira Komatsuzawa, the president of the Newspaper club was standing in the girls restroom with a video camera but she was sure it wasn't good.

"I think you and I should have a talk."

Her heart was pounding and her palms began to sweat but she still clenched her jaw in anger, "No, I don't think we do."

Akira shook his head with a look of false sympathy on his face, "Look Fujioka, I don't want this to be any harder than it has to be. I just want to ask you a few questions is all."

Haruhi pulled her hands away from the sink and clenched them into fists beside her, "I don't know what game you're playing but I promise you, when the boys find out what you're up to you are going to regret this."

The bespectacled boy sneered, "They are nothing but bullies and I'm not afraid of them. All they know how to do is hide behind their families. I at least am trying to rise above my father's name and _you_ are going to help me do that."

Her sudden hollow laugh surprised the both of them, "You think you're better than them? Wow, you're even more delusional than I thought. You will live your entire life and you will never be half the man that any of them are. You call them bullies, when the truth is they protect what they care about no matter what they have to do. _You_ are the bully."

Akira's face flushed an angry ugly red and he took a threatening step forward and smiled when he saw her flinch. "I'm not a bad person Haruhi, but the public deserves to know what happened to you. Your precious harem of body guards tried to sweep it under the rug but people want answers. Tell me Haruhi, did you set all this up for attention? Is it true that you went willingly with Hisoka Kimura? Is it true that you murdered Kimura and the very influential families you are involved with managed to cover it up? These are questions we deserve the answer to. I have been following you but you are never alone. I cannot tell you how inconvenient and frustrating that is…so here I am taking the only chance I am likely to ever get. Believe me Haruhi, you aren't leaving here until you speak to me."

"Get the hell away from me. I promise you I will scream…what will you do then? What will you do when people see you in the woman's restroom harassing me?"

Akira snorted, "You are a commoner Fujioka, don't let your little friends or your presence in this school fool you into thinking you are anything more than that. You are as important as the chewed up piece of gum on the bottom of our shoes. I will spin a story so quick and so believable you will never be able to show your face in this place again. So I suggest you choose wisely. Talk little Fujioka and I will never bug you again."

Haruhi watched with wide eyes as he stepped progressively closer until he was inches from her, his hot breath in her face making her stomach roll in disgust. For a moment, a single terrifying handful of seconds she wasn't in the girl's restroom at Ouran Academy. She was in a little house in the middle of nowhere, cornered by a tall man with a kind face and evil eyes who took joy in her pain. When her vision cleared and Akira stood in front of her instead of Kimura it mattered very little to her. He wanted to hurt her and she wouldn't let him. She was small and physically she was not very strong but when she lifted up her tiny arms to push him away, he flew into the stalls behind him.

She didn't hesitate to run, slamming into the door that she realized instantly Akira had locked. Tears were running down her face as her hands shook trying to unlock the large door. Just as she twisted the lock she felt strong bony arms wrap around her waist and roughly pull her back. She lifted her legs and slammed them against the door with all her strength making Akira lose his balance and taking her with him. She opened her mouth to let out a scream for help but Akira slammed his sweaty palm over her mouth.

She struggled and despite knowing the pain it would cause her she lifted her head as much as she could and slammed it back against Akira's face. He shouted in pain and released her to hold his nose when the restroom door slammed open. Haruhi sobbed out in relief at the sight of Hikaru who stood there with wide eyes. Her hair was a mess, her clothes in disarray and tears streaked down her face but she still dove for the video camera. Akira tried to grab hold of her leg but before he could touch her Hikaru flew at him.

Haruhi held the camera to her chest and scrambled to the corner of the room and watched with wide wet eyes as Hikaru slammed his fist in Akira's face, smashing his glasses into two pieces. Akira tried to push the wild Hikaru off him but was held down by Hikaru's knees that were placed firmly on his shoulders. He had nowhere to go and cried out in pain as another blow landed on his jaw.

It seemed like an eternity passed when the door opened again and Kaoru stood there, first looking at his brother and Akira and then to her, putting the pieces together. He called her name and tossed his phone to her, telling her to call one of the others before rushing to pull Hikaru off Akira before he killed him.

Haruhi's hand trembled as she struggled to dial Hani's number, when he answered he sounded confused, "Kaoru…you do realize I am in class right now don't you?"

Hearing Hani's voice, knowing that he was less than a minute away from her filled her with a sense of safety and relief.

"Hani…"

His tone switched from confused to worried and tense, "Haruhi, what's wrong? Where are you?"

"The girl's restroom near Class-1A."

"I'll be right there."

She dropped the phone as she watched Kaoru struggle with his brother, trying desperately to calm him down. "Hikaru you have to stop! You're scaring Haruhi!"

Haruhi _was_ scared, but certainly not of Hikaru. She wasn't even scared of Akira anymore, who was laid sprawled out on the tiled floor covered in blood and groaning in pain. Haruhi was scared of the trouble Hikaru could find himself in. She wasn't sure how these rich families did it, but in her world the authorities would be called. Hikaru's fists were covered in blood that wasn't his own and the only one who was hurt was Akira.

Suddenly the door shot open and the restroom was filled with the rest of the host club. Hani reached down and picked her up, tilting her face left and right gently with his hands to make sure she wasn't hurt. "Are you okay Haruhi?"

She nodded while he looked her up and down, "I'm fine…except for the back of my head. I slammed it into his face and it hurts, but I think it will be okay."

He first checked her head and when he found no bump or cut he briefly pulled her into his arms and hugged her before whispering to Kyoya to lock the door. He turned to his cousin who was trying to help Kaoru with Hikaru and while he understood Hikaru's rage they needed to be as discreet as possible with the already out of hand situation.

"Hikaru, you need to calm down. I understand, I want nothing more than to…you wouldn't be able to stomach what I want to do to that piece of trash right now. I get it but you need to think about Haruhi and how the hell we are going to fix this mess."

Hikaru was panting in his anger and because of his struggling but finally, at hearing the 'don't fuck with me right now' tone in Hani's voice he went limp. He looked up at Haruhi whose arms were wrapped tightly around Hani's waist and whispered, "I'm sorry Haruhi."

She quickly rushed to his side, "Don't apologize for coming to my rescue. I'm not scared of you Hikaru, but _for _you. What will happen when Akira's family finds out what happened? What if the authorities get involved?"

Tamaki, who she had never heard sound so angry, crossed his arms in front of his chest. "You don't need to worry about any of that Haruhi…we will fix it."

The confidence in his voice didn't ease her anxiety, "How? Akira looks like…I can't even tell with all the blood."

He smiled indulgently, "It would only take the influence of just two of our families to erase this, but all of us…Akira will probably get expelled from the Academy, especially because my father is very fond of you."

Usually Haruhi would mutter something about 'rich bastards' but at that moment she was grateful. She didn't care how slimy the situation might seem, she wanted them safe. Haruhi looked down at Akira who had passed out and was tempted to kick him. She looked up when Hani tugged on the sleeve of her blazer, "Haruhi, we do need to know what happened?"

She frowned, not wanting to repeat some of the things that Akira hand said and accused her of. She knew they weren't true, she had her friends, father and Kaede to thank for the small bit of mental strength she had managed to build up. If not for them his accusations probably would have broken her, but still she didn't want to echo his ridiculous claims. So instead she held out the video camera and whispered, "He recorded it."

She could have heard a pin drop with the silence that followed and then Kyoya, who was leaning back against the door with arms crossed in front of his chest looked up and growled out, "He what?"

She frowned, "He recorded it…he was trying to '_interview_' me."

Hani pulled her towards him when Kyoya pushed away from the door and did what she had felt like doing herself. He kicked Akira. Hard. Despite being passed out Akira grunted in pain and when Kyoya went to kick him again Mori grabbed hold of his arm with a warning, "That's enough Kyoya. We have enough to deal with and we don't need to add cracked ribs to the list."

Kyoya sneered but stepped away, staring down at Akira with pure hatred in his eyes. Hani, always the most in control other than Mori began giving orders. "This restroom isn't out of order, someone is bound to need to use it. We need to get this figured out now. Tamaki call your dad, we are really going to need him. Everyone else do the same, call your families and fill them in."

Tamaki nodded, "My dad is here today, I can get him down here in less than a minute."

He took out his phone and the others followed including Hani. Haruhi turned and looked in the mirror, flinching at her reflection. Her face was blotchy from crying and her eyes were bloodshot…but she found herself smiling. She had froze, in that moment she had let Kimura take control of her again…but it was only a second. If Akira had decided to corner her last month she wouldn't have been able to fight back as she had. It may be a very small kernel of a promise of something more but it was there and worth acknowledging. She really was healing.

"What's the smile for?"

Haruhi turned to Hikaru and shrugged, "I won a personal battle today is all, one I was scared would always hold me back."

He raised his brow and smiled back at her, "Good…you deserve to always win."

She shook her head at his endearing hope for her, "Come here Hikaru, you need to wash your hands."

Having forgot the condition of his knuckles he looked down and his smile drooped to a frown but he moved to her side anyway. "I've never lost control like that…I know my control isn't all that great as it is but never have I been so _out_ of it before."

Haruhi drew his hands under the warm water, "You saw me crying and hurt Hikaru and you reacted. It wasn't about control…not everything can be controlled especially for someone who feels as deeply as you do. So when you look down at your cracked knuckles don't think of the pain they caused, think of how grateful I am that you were here to save me."

He looked at her for a bit before looking down at his hands and smiling, "You saved Kaoru and me more than you will ever know Haruhi…and we will always be here to save you for giving us what we thought we would never find."

She had no idea what he was talking about but didn't have time to question him. A sharp knock on the restroom door made her gasp as she looked wildly around the room at the boys and then Akira. Tamaki held out his hand in a calming motion and ended his call, "It's just my father."

Kyoya unlocked the door and ushered Yuzuru Suoh in. Yuzuru looked first at Haruhi, his eyes taking inventory, making sure she was okay before landing on Akira. He cursed softly and took out his phone before calling several different people and whispering furiously into the phone. When he finished he turned back to her and smiled gently, "Ms. Fujioka…Haruhi…I need to know what happened. Everything."

Hani stepped in front of her and handed Yuzuru the camera, "He recorded it."

Yuzuru frowned angrily, "Just like his father, worse in fact."

He pushed the play button and Haruhi looked down as Akira's voice filled the restroom and when he began to ask those inane questions she felt Hani's arms wrap around her. He leaned down and whispered in her ear, "He is full of shit, you know that right. No one actually believes all that, he wanted to exploit you for his own selfish ambition."

Haruhi couldn't help but lean into his touch as she joked, "Actually I think his pants is full of it, Hikaru scared all that shit right out of him."

Hani barked out a laugh, "From the smell I think you're right."

When the recording was finished Yuzuru was tense and angrier than before, "Don't you worry about a thing Haruhi. I have everything under control. I cannot apologize enough for what he did and what he said, but believe me it will not happen again. He will not be welcome in my school any longer."

"And Hikaru? He won't be in any trouble will he?"

Kyoya smiled darkly down at Akira as he answered Haruhi's question, "Akira's father is involved in some…shall we say nefarious dealings that he would do anything to keep under wraps. My father will happily expose him if he decides that he wants to take this a step further."

Haruhi didn't need to know what Akira's father was involved in as long as Hikaru was safe. "Okay…what do we do with Akira?"

Just as she asked the question an announcement came through the speaker's throughout the school. "Good afternoon. We will be having a test lock down in a few minutes, I ask that all students and faculty members return to your classrooms if you are not already there. This may be a test but it should be taken seriously. Thank you."

Tamaki shook his head, "You really are too good at this."

Yuzuru smiled, "It's called experience son. You all get to your classes and I will take care of Mr. Komatsuzawa."

Hani quickly helped Haruhi look presentable again but before they all rushed to their classes Haruhi stopped and ran back to Yuzuru. She quickly hugged the tall kind man around the waist and whispered, "Thank you sir."

He froze at first but sighed with a smile on his face, giving her a quick squeeze back. "Of course…now back to class with you."

She sped off with Hikaru and Kaoru, the door of the class room shutting behind her just as the bell went off.

The teacher frowned and questioned the three of them and Hikaru smiled, "We were stopped by the headmaster in the hall, he wanted to speak to us."

The teacher had stopped listening at headmaster, accepting our prolonged restroom breaks and decided to give the class free time while under lock down.

~oOo~

Kaede frowned as Haruhi showed her a copy of the video taping of what happened in the restroom. She was worried that because of that spoiled little asshole Haruhi had regressed when she had been doing so well. There was only one way to find out.

"That is horrible…that little miscreant deserves more than expulsion."

Haruhi nodded, "I think so to but I don't want to risk him turning around and pressing charges against Hikaru."

"Tell me Haruhi, what do you think about his accusations?"

Her response was immediate. "Like Hani said, he was full of shit. I know nobody thinks those things about me…Kaede I know that sometimes people like to place blame on the victim. I haven't experienced that kind of negativity because like you told me to do, I surround myself only with the positive. I know what happened to me was not my fault…I did not ask for it and I certainly did not like it."

Kaede smiled, "I am so very proud of you Haruhi."

Haruhi bit her lip shyly, "Thanks…I am too. I realized that day that I was getting better…I still have nightmares almost every night. Sometimes I swear I see him…and I am easily frightened. I don't like to be touched by strangers, even if it is a brush of shoulders and I get paranoid sometimes. I try not to, but every day I think about him. Sometimes, not as much as I used to…I feel…gross, and I can't seem to wash him away."

She had a relieved look on her face but she continued on, "I know it will take more than a few months for me to be able to accidently bump into someone and not feel like I am having an anxiety attack. Before…I didn't believe that I would ever get better…now though I _know_ that it will take time but I will heal. I will get better."

Kaede beamed, "Yes Haruhi, you will."

* * *

a/n: I know the bad guy was a surprise but I was watching Ouran and every time I see Akira I get irritated. Then I thought of how if he were an animal he would be a jackal and then voila! He became part of my story. Oh and I know if a real fight broke out in a high school, even in a restroom during class it probably would be all over school by the end of the day. Just another reason why I love fiction so much, I can bend the rules from time to time if I want. From now on though, it will be about Haruhi, Hani and the return of some friends. Review please!


	10. Chapter 10

a/n: 1.) I don't usually do more than one time skip but if I do this as a day by day or week by week, it will never end. 2.) There is mention of God towards the end, it is literally like three sentences so please don't take offense. 3.) There is a recounting of Haruhi's experience, not graphic but I just wanted to warn readers.

I apologize for any grammatical errors, I seem to write more at night when I am running on no sleep and mistakes are made more often. Still I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 10

1 month later

"We should reopen the Host club."

Tamaki looked away from the poet on the small stage in Haruhi's favorite café, his surprise and excitement clear from the sudden spark in his violet eyes. "Really?"

Haruhi nodded, her face serious as she continued looking at the young poet, "Yes really. As odd as it sounds, the host's clubs antics were normal for me and Kaede suggested a bit of normalcy. I think it is a good idea…and honestly I kind of miss it."

Tamaki turned to Kyoya and nodded, "How quickly can we arrange it?"

Kyoya snorted at the ridiculous question, "Give me two days, but only if you are sure Haruhi. Even though everyone knows you are a girl now, I can promise you that you will still have quite a few customers."

Haruhi finally turned away from the poet and nodded, "I know. I want to do this Kyoya sempai."

Tamaki grinned, "Well then, I guess we will be open for business in two days." His grin slowly faded as he watched Hani grab a bagel and spread some butter on it before handing it to Haruhi and whispering, "Eat."

Haruhi didn't hesitate to take a bite of the bagel while pushing her nibbled on blueberry muffin towards the older blond. Tamaki could see a closeness that none of the boys had ever achieved with Haruhi even before she had been abducted and he wasn't really sure what to think about it. In the month since Akira had attacked her Haruhi had noticeably been favoring Hani's company. He wanted to be upset but he could see that even though Haruhi was still withdrawn, she spoke more. She had even spoke about her future, being a lawyer like her mother had been. He didn't want to ruin that because he was jealous, and he had to admit that he was indeed very jealous.

He wasn't use to the feeling but he knew exactly what it was and he didn't like it at all. Feelings like jealousy could very well tear people apart and Tamaki cherished his little family too much to let that happen. Still, seeing Hani lean over and whisper in Haruhi's ear and then to see her give him a tiny smile felt like a knife in his gut.

Forcing himself to turn away from the two he noticed immediately that he wasn't the only one who had seen what he had…or felt the same knife in the gut as he did. He caught Kyoya's hard gaze and narrowed his eyes, silently asking his friend to leave it be. After Kyoya gave a small nod Tamaki took in a deep breath and turned back to Haruhi but not before he caught Hani staring at them.

He knew…Tamaki could see in his rarely expressive eyes that Hani knew exactly what they were feeling and he had no regrets. There was no apology in his gaze and Tamaki really didn't expect one. Hani was never one to be apologetic for anything, he made no excuses for who he was or for the decisions he made. Tamaki would like to take credit for helping Hani be that person…but that person no longer existed. Hani was the person they turned to now and he didn't need help anymore. Haruhi needed someone with his strength and he wished so badly that she needed him instead.

He sighed and shook his head to himself, diverting his eyes away from Hani's. A surrender he supposed to a fight he hadn't ever had a chance of winning. He wondered how long it would take the others to come to the same realization.

~oOo~

Hani opened his eyes at the sound of a soft, barely audible sob. He focused on the plastic stars on the ceiling and fought off the confusion that clouded his mind. When he finally registered where he was he turned to Haruhi, her face inches away from his and tears leaving a glistening trail down the bridge of her nose and disappearing down her cheek and into her hair.

Haruhi's nightmares had gotten worse, sometimes she woke up screaming but most of the time, she just cried. Hani wanted to assume it had to do with Akira but his instincts told him his assumption would be wrong. After the first week of calling Hani nearly every night, Ranka had asked him to just come over after Haruhi fell asleep. In the past four weeks somehow Hani and Haruhi had become something and neither of them knew exactly what that something was.

He whispered her name once, twice and on the third time her lashes fluttered and slowly parted revealing tired and incredibly sad chocolate eyes. They shimmered as a fine layer of tears fought to escape and won. He let her cry, not willing to stop her because it was what she needed. All he did was pull her close to him and try to lend her his warmth and hopefully his strength.

Her tears didn't last long but in truth, the tears she shed in the last month were enough to fill a river bed. When she quieted down he expected her to drift off to sleep once again like she usually did but instead, she took in a deep breath and began to speak.

"I have tried to describe it to Kaede and even though she understands my words…I don't think she can ever really understand. It's like…there is a grey film over my eyes. I can't see the colors anymore, I never knew how important color was to me until it was stripped away. I feel like I am walking in a fog, a thick fog that suffocates and blinds me…it is so thick that I can barely move at all. Do you understand Hani?"

He did understand, she had described perfectly what he struggled with every day, so when he nodded and whispered, "I do," it wasn't to appease her in any way. It was simply the truth.

She looked up at him, her cheeks still wet from her tears, "How do you not cry then? How do you hold it back? I have seen you cry before, I know you know how…why don't you then?"

Hani closed his eyes and admitted, "It's the fog Haruhi…I can't seem to find my way out."

Haruhi stared up at him and whispered, "I guess I will cry for the both of us then until you can cry for yourself again."

Hani wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him, touching his forehead to hers. She held her breath as his eyes opened, the hazel depths flecked with gold and green were absolutely breathtaking. Haruhi couldn't help but wonder how she had managed to not get lost in his eyes before. She bent her head, trying to hide her tears. He made her cry, all the time…because she didn't want to feel for him like she did with the constant fear and damage in her heart tainting it. She was so unsure of everything, the ground was unsteady and felt as if it was going to crumble beneath her feet…except for one thing. There was one thing she was sure of and she wanted Hani to know, something she needed for him to understand.

Eyes still closed she whispered, "I know it may not seem like it right now Hani…but you are not my crutch. I don't want you to think I'm weak when I am trying so hard to be strong. I don't want you to feel like I am using you to keep me standing. Yes…I want you here but if I was alone…If I woke up from a nightmare and you weren't here, I would be fine. I promise Hana…I would be just fine…I'm going to be okay."

It was quiet for what felt to Haruhi like an eternity and she was sure she had hurt her best friend. When she tried to pull away she felt his rough fingers ghost over her face before gently cradling her jaw.

"Haruhi, look at me."

She gave a small shake of her head but Hani urged her face up and breathed, "Look at me, please."

Unable to deny his whispered plea her lashes parted and she stared up into his vulnerable eyes that though didn't shed tears, could never hide from her what he was feeling. His gaze was intense but this time she didn't look away, not even as he lowered his face to hers. Her breath caught, so sure that he was about to kiss her but instead he slowly ran his cheek along hers, her tears dampening his jaw. He may not be able to cry but he shared in her sorrow the only way he knew how, it was so very intimate and in that moment she fell in love with him. He gave her a little bit of peace and beauty even as she fought blindly through the dark and for that she adored him.

"I never once looked at you and saw someone who was weak because you amaze me every day with your strength. I admit to being scared that I was weakening you somehow, that I was keeping you from getting better…but that was weakness on _my_ part. I know you. I know you would never use me and I know that you will be okay. We both will be just fine."

Haruhi buried her face in Hani's neck and whispered, "Thank you."

They both fell into a long silence and when Hani thought that Haruhi had fallen back to sleep she asked, "I can be strong on my own…but do you think you can help me be strong like you?"

"Like me?"

"The world is filled with monsters Hani. Terrible horrible monsters…and I want a fighting chance if one of them ever comes for me again. Please…can you help me?"

He buried his nose in her jasmine scented hair and whispered, "Of course."

~oOo~

"I want to teach Haruhi self-defense."

Tamaki raised his head from his bowl with a frown on his face, "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

Hani leaned back in his chair and lazily perused the cafeteria, "Why wouldn't it be?"

The younger blond put down his spoon and thought about what he was going to say before he answered. "She barely lets us hug her anymore, self-defense isn't exactly a hands off activity. Do you think she can handle it?"

Mori chewed thoughtfully, swallowing before answering for his cousin. "She can handle it, if Hani is the one to teach her. She is most comfortable with him than with any one of us."

Kyoya pushed his tray of food away, folding his arms in front of him on the table, "Wouldn't she be more comfortable with the twins since she spends most of her time with them? And shouldn't she decide if she wants to learn how to fight?"

Tamaki tensed, he had been waiting for this moment. He supposed he should be grateful Kyoya waited as long as he did and though a part of him wanted to stop any confrontation before it happened the other part of him wanted answers too. So instead of redirecting the conversation he simply sat in silence and turned to Hani, waiting to see what the older boy had to say.

Hani turned his attention away from the people clambering about the lunch room and focused on Kyoya, his hazel eyes darkening as he calmly asked, "What are you really asking me Kyoya?"

Kyoya shook his head, "I'm not looking to argue Hani sempai, and I'm not making accusations either. I just want to know…we all want to know why she prefers you. What is she to you? What are you to her?"

"You are asking me questions that only Haruhi has the answers to, and I don't suggest you put her on the spot like you just did to me. As for what she is to me…I am whatever she wants me to be to her. I love her."

Tamaki took in a deep breath and turned to look at Kyoya whose hands clenched into fists. "Kyoya, you asked him…you knew how he would answer. Calm down."

Kyoya narrowed his eyes, "I love her too."

Hani tilted his head to the side and studied Kyoya before sighing. "Tamaki has a point, you shouldn't have asked if you really didn't want to know the answer." He took his fork and used the edge to slice off a piece of strawberry cake, "I know you love her Kyoya, just like I know Tamaki, Mori and the twins love her. We all love her."

Hani took a bite of the cake and watched as Kyoya warred with himself but before he could say something Mori interrupted him. "She loves him. It's why you are so upset, because you can see it too. If you try to fight a fight that's already been won then you are going to hurt her. I won't let you put her in that kind of position."

Kyoya let out a slow bated sigh, "She is vulnerable, too vulnerable to be making any romantic decisions."

Hani's eyes hardened but he remained calm as he answered in a clipped tone, "Do you want to know the difference between us Kyoya? I see her strengths rather than focusing on her weaknesses. I don't see a vulnerable, hurt girl. I see Haruhi, who despite all the shit she has gone through knows her own mind. If she decides she wants more with me then it will be her decision, and whatever follows will be completely up to her. As for me teaching her self-defense…she asked me to help her. It was a decision she made all on her own and none of you will take that from her because you don't know how to handle your jealousy."

The table grew silent as Hani finished off his cake, the fork occasionally clinking against the expensive dessert plate. Before he finished Kyoya cleared his throat and carefully asked, "How long have you known you loved her?"

Hani didn't look up but answered still, "After the Ouran fair."

Tamaki whispered, "That was so long ago. Why didn't you ever approach her?"

Hani looked up finally, "I barely reached her chin and I was certain she saw me as nothing more than a brother. I walked around with a stuffed rabbit and acted like a five year old who cried and threw tantrums."

Tamaki shook his head, "But that's who you are Hani…you shouldn't be someone else just for her to love you."

Hani laughed humorlessly, the sound so somber and hollow. "Tamaki, we all have our childhood hang ups. Mine just so happened to result in my rebelling against everything I knew my family would outright despise. It was fun…I admit it was freeing for a while and I am grateful for you giving me a chance to be someone completely different than who I really am. I'm not a child though Tamaki, I like cake and I'm not an early riser but my stuffed rabbit is put away. I can't seem to cry anymore and I don't want Haruhi to ever see me as a brother."

Kyoya frowned, "Even before the host club, you weren't like how you are now."

"You're right, I wasn't. We all changed after what happened to Haruhi, some more than others."

No one had anything to say to that.

"Don't hurt her."

Hani stared at Tamaki and leaned back in his chair once more, "Never. I would never hurt her."

That was all Tamaki needed to hear.

~oOo~

Haruhi knew Kaede expected her to talk about Hani or one of the other boys…she avoided Kimura at all cost usually. Today though, she wanted to take another step.

"It isn't fair."

Kaede nodded, "No it's not."

"I want to talk about it…I just don't know how. I want to try though."

Kaede was silent, perhaps she was surprised but Haruhi was grateful for the chance to let out a bit of her anger.

"I ran out of words you know. I ran out of prayers and then I realized that when I prayed it sounded more like begging. I begged God to save me…I wonder every day if those small mistakes that man made that day were His doing. Kimura had never made mistakes like that before."

Haruhi sat still on the couch, her head bent as if she was praying at that very moment. Kaede reached out and carefully grabbed hold of Haruhi's little hand, "That day that you escaped, the day you said that you lost hope…tell me how you managed to overpower Kimura."

Haruhi was quiet for a very long time, she hadn't yet given Kaede specific details and Kaede had never pushed for them. When her lips parted to share a bit of that day with her she began to tremble, but she pressed forward still. Kaede told her that speaking about the day would take away Kimura's power over her and every time she spoke about it she would strip away another bit of his hold on her life. She wanted that…she wanted to burn him off of her like the leech he was.

"He came into our cell…Satori cried for me when he dragged me away by my hair. The stairs slammed against my back and when we were upstairs the carpet burned me. The house smelled so clean it burned my nose and everything was so white…so very sterile. He would usually handcuff us to the bed…he…he would gag us. The first time…the first…I threw up. He made me keep the gag in my mouth for days."

Kaede squeezed Haruhi's hand gently, "Haruhi, you can stop now. You don't have to say anymore today."

Haruhi shook her head, "No. I want to."

Kaede searched Haruhi's face and whispered, "If it becomes too much I want you to stop. Promise me."

Haruhi just nodded and took in a deep breath before continuing, "After he was done…after he was done using us he would normally inject us with some kind of drug…I am sure it was a pain killer of some sort. It knocked us out for hours. That day though…the phone rang. He looked frustrated. I don't know why he didn't notice when he was always so meticulous about everything…I think he may have had OCD. The handcuff on my right hand didn't click, it was nearly hanging off when he went to answer the phone. That's how I got lose. I grabbed the key with my lose hand and freed myself. I grabbed that syringe he left on the dresser and waited…it was…everything was louder. I could hear my heart beat I think. I held my freedom in my hands…literally. When he came through the door and saw me missing I wanted to mock him, instead I stabbed him in the neck and injected him full of that crap. I wanted to pull it out…for a minute I almost did…I wanted to pull it out and stab him with it again and again. I didn't though…I don't know why. He fell on the bed…somehow I dragged him on it and handcuffed him. I made sure they were tight. I called Kyoya…his was the only number I had memorized because it was most like mine."

Kaede was quiet for a bit and then said, "A man who did in fact have a severe case of OCD, a man who was in fact meticulous in every facet of his life…didn't notice the click of a handcuff. It wouldn't matter the circumstances, a person with OCD like him would not overlook such a thing. Then you Haruhi, a tiny, starving, weak and battered girl dragged a 6'2 and 250 something man onto a bed and handcuffed him. You wondered if God had a hand in the mistakes he made...in my _personal_ opinion I say yes He did. I also believe you beat him and with every breath you take you continue to win. "

Haruhi wiped away a stray tear and mumbled, "I will win. I will be just fine."

* * *

a/n: I am sure I made more mistakes that usual but I am exhausted. I hope you enjoyed it though. I want to thank reviewer Caysun for the self-defense idea. I think that every girl should have at least some basic knowledge of self-defense and I think it could help a person who has gone through trauma rebuild their confidence. The OCD thing…I have been watching a lot of Criminal Minds and it played in well to the story. Feel free to critique, no flames though, I really don't know if Hani and Haruhi are moving too fast for the situation they are in. I don't want to force it. Review please!


	11. Chapter 11

A/n: I know! It has been forever but it is so hard to find some me time to write with my life how it is right now. I have to say this session with Kaede is my favorite so far but this chapter is the step I needed to get to the ones that I have been waiting to write. I hope you guys like it and I apologize for any grammatical errors.

Chapter 11

The reopening of the Host Club went much too well, so well in fact that a few girls and even some boys had to be turned away with the promise that they would be priority the next club day. The girls fluttered about like excited butterflies attaching themselves to their favorite and sorely missed hosts. Haruhi breathed deeply before silently telling herself as she had all day that she had made the right decision. She felt ready but as she looked around at the worried faces of her fellow hosts she realized that despite Tamaki's enthusiasm, perhaps _they_ were not.

They had stationed her in Tamaki's usual spot on the love seat in the center of the room, safely encircled by them all so that they could keep an eye on her. There was a tension in the room that even some of their customers could feel and Haruhi's only solution was to play her part as a host.

She smiled at the two boys and girl who sat at her table as she rested her hand on the handle of the tea pot, "Would anyone like some tea?"

The girl Sachi and one of the boys Eiji nodded with smiles of their own, watching as she served them with a practiced ease and grace. For almost an hour she lost herself in the frivolity of being a host and was able to live in the moment, no matter how simple.

"He is so very handsome isn't he Haruhi?"

Haruhi tilted her head in question, "They're all quite handsome, which one may I ask are you referring to?"

Sachi laughed, "Hani of course! I mean, he was always cute, adorable really." Sachi turned to look over at Hani's corner, "I can't call him adorable anymore…I mean just look at him!"

Haruhi smiled and turned towards Hani, and for a moment she forgot where she was and that there were people in front of her waiting as she watched one of the if not the most beautiful girl in school run her fingers through his already messy blond hair. She only had sight of Hani's profile but she could see him grin down at Amaya. Haruhi had never experienced jealousy before, she had never really been in the position to be jealous and she could say with a surety that it was an ugly feeling. She wasn't sure how to process it or how to react but she really wished Amaya would keep her hands to herself. She slowly shook her head trying to rid herself of her train of thought. She was being silly, Hani did not belong to her and the last thing she needed was another negative emotion to overcome.

"Haruhi? Are you okay?"

All the hosts simultaneously turned towards her when they heard her name and Haruhi tried to ignore them as she turned away from Hani to answer Tadashi, who was staring at her with worry in his eyes. "Hmm?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yes…I apologize."

She tensed when he leaned forward and swept a piece of her hair behind her ear, his fingers lingering on her earlobe. "There's no need to apologize Haruhi."

She tilted her head and shied away from him, trying not to insult him as she asked, "What were you saying before Tadashi sempai?"

"Just Tadashi."

Haruhi tried to hide how uncomfortable she was becoming as she smiled and nodded her head, "Tadashi then."

"I was asking if perhaps you would like to go to my families benefit with me…it's in three days. I know its short notice but I would be honored if you would agree to be my date."

Haruhi looked down at the table, trying to hide from the expectant look in his eyes as he awaited her answer. She had no reason to tell him no, in fact saying yes was probably something that Kaede would encourage if Haruhi felt that she was ready for it. Tadashi was kind and smart, he was always so respectful and never once treated her differently because of her lack of fortune. She should say yes, if only to try to experience her life outside of the shelter she had created for herself. In another world where her fearlessness and strength hadn't been torn apart…in a world where Hani didn't exist she may have considered saying yes. To say yes would be wrong though, when she knew Tadashi would see it as something that it wasn't.

Haruhi looked back up at him with an apology already in her eyes and ready on her lips but her answer was overshadowed by a voice behind her.

"It was kind of you to ask Tadashi but Haruhi has other plans."

Tadashi raised his brow, "Oh? Haruhi?"

Haruhi first looked up at Hani as he stared down Tadashi, her brow furrowing in confusion. She didn't have plans but still asked, "I do?"

Hani smiled down at her, "Don't you remember Haruhi? That day has already been promised to me, and Tadashi," his smile never faltering as he looked back at the younger boy, "she will be much too exhausted let alone sore to go anywhere with you. In fact, all her days and nights belong to me so as _flattering_ as your offer may be the answer is no. "

Tadashi's face was beat red as he looked between Hani and an utterly confused Haruhi. "Oh…I see. I apologize, I wasn't aware that she was already —"

Before he could finish Hani interrupted with the same smile and a much too polite, "Well, now you are. So in the future, to avoid confrontation, know that you can flatter and flirt but you cannot touch and you certainly will never have."

Tadashi nodded, "Understood."

Haruhi was more than a bit puzzled by the exchange, especially because it seemed that more was being said with their eyes than their actual words. She watched as Tadashi scooted his chair back and nodded his head at her with a smile that was much too forced, "It was a pleasure Haruhi."

As Tadashi walked away she turned to Sachi whose eyes were wide with glee and whispered, "I don't understand."

She turned her confusion back on Hani who looked down at her with his amber eyes wide and so very innocent, "And what plans? And why would I be sore and exhausted?"

Eiji choked on nothing while Sachi blushed and giggled madly but both looked confused as well by Hani's answer anyway.

"I promised to teach you how to defend yourself remember, you told me to name a day and I had three days from now all planned out. You are bound to be both sore and exhausted after we are done and certainly not up for a night of dancing…unless you would prefer…to go with Tadashi?"

Haruhi watched as Hani's eyes darkened and though she didn't fully understand what had just happened she instinctively knew what Hani was asking for. "No…no, I prefer you."

~oOo~

Haruhi had been to Hani's house several times, she had even sat at his unnecessarily large dinner table and eaten with his family. She had slept in the guest room and even walked in their personal gardens but of all the times she had been in Hani's home she had never been in their personal dojo.

It was traditionally built and huge, set off to the side of the massive property only making it look more imposing.

"I know, unnecessary right."

Haruhi grinned at Hani, "Completely unnecessary."

He reached forward and slid the shoji open, stepping to the side to allow her to enter. She looked around the room, taking notice that the walls were not bare like most dojos but decorated with weapons, some looking nearly ancient.

"They belong to my ancestors, we're lucky to still have them."

"What do you mean?"

He looked around, "Well, during WWII the Americans came in and started confiscating all the weapons. They didn't realize that most of them were heirlooms or as valuable as they were and were melted down for various reasons. Before they could take my families my grandfather hid them away and replaced them with cheap replacements. To give the Americans credit, when they finally realized how precious the swords were they worked to fix their mistake but by then so many had been destroyed. If not for my grandfather's quick thinking then we may have lost ours as well."

Haruhi stared up at the swords, amazed at how close a call the history in this room had come to being destroyed.

"Are you ready?"

She gave him a small nod and let him lead her to the middle of the room, "We will start with basics."

"Basics?"

"Stances, blocks and strikes. Depending on how far you want to go we can try a few basic releases and hand to hand blocking exercises. We will save mat and bag work for later."

All Haruhi could do was nod and look around nervously. She jerked her head up towards Hani when he touched her arm, her jumpiness making him pull back with hands raised to show her he wasn't a threat. "Hey, we don't have to do this today if you aren't ready."

Haruhi swallowed her guilt, she trusted Hani more than anyone other than her father and she hated that she just couldn't allow herself to relax enough around him to not jump at a simple touch. She sighed, "No, I'm ready. I have to do this."

Hani and tilted her head up with his index finger, "Not if you aren't up for it. I know you want to do this but don't force yourself to take a step that you aren't really ready for. If we do this eventually you are going to be put in positions where you are vulnerable and it could…it could bring up things you would prefer not to remember. I know you know I would never hurt you but this is very hands on…just know all the decisions are yours. You are in control."

Haruhi stared up at him, her brown eyes flickering all over his face before settling back on his whiskey eyes. She reached up and grabbed the hand that kept her face raised, her little fingers wrapped around it, cupping it as she raised it to her mouth to kiss his knuckles. She watched his lashes flutter as he stared down at his hand that she held to her lips, his own lips parting in a question, "Haruhi?"

"I need this Hani. I need to be able to know that I have a fighting chance…because every time I fought back when he held me down or threw me around it was like he felt nothing. I would swing and kick, I would bite and claw and it didn't matter. He was stronger than me and I didn't know how to defend myself against that. I'm small and not very physically strong but I want to at least have the knowledge that you have, should I ever need it. Please…please Hani."

Hearing Haruhi recall her experience was so very painful. He closed his eyes and all he could see was her tear streaked face twisted in panic, her big eyes wide with fear and pain as she fought that monster. She had never spoken to him about her experience, not like this and he wasn't so sure he could handle it…he didn't know how she lived with it. He didn't know how to respond so he did what he needed for himself, he pulled her into his arms and held her to him, reminding himself once more that she was breathing and though she was so deeply scarred she was alive. She lived therefore she could heal. She was strong.

"Don't beg me Haruhi, you never have to beg me for anything. Like I said, this is your choice, you make the decisions so if this is what you want then I will make sure you have it. If you ever need to defend yourself Haruhi, I promise they will feel it. It will matter to them because they will know that you could kill them if you wanted to, they will know that your life is not in their hands but it is their life in yours."

Hani didn't know if what he said was good for her but it was his truth. He had grown up knowing that he was stronger than everyone in the room, confident that no one could physically stand up to him and win. He couldn't even pretend to know what it was to fight back and it not mattering but the very idea of feeling weak made him feel sick. Hani would make her feel strong on the outside so that maybe it would help her become stronger on the inside. He wanted her to have the same confidence that he had when being faced with someone who thought they could hold him down.

"I promise you Haruhi. I promise."

She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face in his shirt, "Thank you Hani."

~oOo~

"I'm in love with Hani."

Kaede tilted her head encouragingly and asked, "Are you?"

Haruhi turned her head towards her, "Yes." She turned back to look out the window again, watching the people scramble about below. "It was surprising. I've heard the term 'fall in love' so many times and it never meant anything to me. Falling in love is such a ridiculous phrase, even my dad who is the world's biggest romantic thinks so. He says that if a person can fall in love then they can certainly fall out of it…he told me that it's so much better to feel love grow. If it grows then you can grow with it, it will never consume you and it will always be the best choice that you could possibly make in your life. That's how it was Kaede, it was slow and I felt it all. I know I am still a child in your eyes, that if I was your daughter you would probably tell me that I am too young to know what love is…but my father loved my mother when he was fifteen and even though she is gone she is still the love of his life. I think that that is what Hani is to me."

Kaede smiled at Haruhi's back, "I would like for you to know I met my husband on the playground when I was eight but it wasn't until I was sixteen that I realized I loved him. It was slow and yes, I felt every little bit of it. Love isn't restricted by age, yes it is better understood and handled depending on maturity but it is still felt. If you love Hani then who am I to tell you otherwise and if you were my daughter I would guide you, I wouldn't try to diminish how you feel because you are young."

Haruhi walked away from the window to sit on the couch, "Thank you…"

Seeing Haruhi's trepidation Kaede leaned forward, "Haruhi, is there something else?"

Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly Haruhi cleared her throat, "I…I am attracted to Hani…very much so. I trust him completely and I...damn it. I want to be able to kiss him, to touch him without fear that when I close my eyes I won't have a panic attack. I want to have a relationship, my _first_ relationship without the shadow of that son of a bitch following me everywhere! I know it is supposed to take time but I feel…I feel like I am shattered in a gazillion pieces and no matter how many of those pieces I put back together I look down and there is still a billion more."

Tears of frustration and sorrow fell from her eyes in endless streams, her voice cracking beneath the weight of her emotions, "I want to love him like he deserves…is that too much to ask?"

Kaede was silent for a moment before reaching out to take Haruhi's hand, "Haruhi, I have met Hani. I have met all of your boys in fact but Hani…he stood out. They all personally came to my office to make sure that I knew what I was doing and though I should have been insulted I couldn't help but wonder who it was that garnered such protectiveness and loyalty from such people. They all asked their own questions but it was Hani who told me why they were asking, he told me 'Haruhi…she is special, amazing. She deserves only the best and I would give her what she deserves.' I remember you see, because even though I could tell that all six boys loved you I knew then that he loved you the best. It deserved to be remembered. So however you love him Haruhi, is more than enough for him."

Kaede stood up and for the first time walked around the coffee table and sat down beside Haruhi, wrapping her arm around her shoulder and hugging her to her side. "The memory will never go away but in time it will fade. In time it will hurt less and you will leave his shadow in the past. You will realize soon that some things in your past don't have a place in your future…you will realize that you no longer look to the past because everything that you need and love you kept with you. You are _too_ strong to drag that man with you into a future where he doesn't belong."

Haruhi turned her face into Kaede's shoulder, sobbing but listening and holding on to each word Kaede said like a life line.

"Some people Haruhi, they stare at those gazillion pieces and all they are able to do is stare. It doesn't make them weak, they just don't know _how_ to pick up the shards of themselves or don't _believe_ that they can move forward. Haruhi, what makes you different? Why do you reach out and pick up the pieces even when you feel like you will never heal?"

Kaede reached out for a tissue on the table and gently wiped away the wetness from Haruhi's face, watching as Haruhi genuinely searched for an answer. As the clock ticked loudly Kaede continued to hold her patient as she had done her daughter on several occasions and listened with a smile as Haruhi further proved why she was so strong.

"I'm not alone…I may be in a gazillion pieces and it hurts all the time but standing beside me…all around me is my dad, my friends, Hani…even you. I look down at the pieces and even though it seems endless and I feel so tired sometimes, the time…the effort…the energy it takes is worth it. It's worth it because I want a future…when I am not having nightmares I _dream_ of my future."

Kaede lifted Haruhi's head, her hands cupping her cheeks gently, "And that is why you will be fine Haruhi…because you're still dreaming and you are one hell of a fighter."

Haruhi sniffed and looked up unsure of what to say, completely surprising Kaede when she hiccuped and whispered, "Hani insinuated that we were going to sleep together because he was jealous of a boy who asked me out. It took me a while to figure it out but I think I should be mad. What do you think?"

Kaede tried not to giggle, "Are you mad?"

"No."

"Well then, there you go."

* * *

A/n: I wanted to show a bit of emotion other than angst, what better emotion to write about than jealousy. Also, the little history lesson about the swords is true, I learned about it from a documentary. The next chapter is one that I have been waiting for, working towards…I hope it turns out as amazing as I see it in my head. Thanks, hope you enjoyed and review please!


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: I know I have been gone for too long but I had a bit of writers block. I hope you enjoy and I apologize for any grammatical errors, which might be more than usual since I am so sleepy.

Chapter 12

Haruhi's eyes shot open, fear running through her veins like ice water as an arm tightened painfully around her middle. She gasped out in pain at the pressure being applied to her ribs and instinctively reached down, ready to fight off the band of steel that held her prisoner. It was then that the arm flung away from her, followed by a troubled moan that Haruhi immediately recognized. It wasn't someone who wanted to hurt her…it was Hani.

She turned towards him and watched as his brow furrowed and his fist clenched in her bedsheet and she realized that he was having a nightmare. She placed her hand gently on his shoulder and whispered his name, trying to do for him what he had so often done for her.

"Hani…Hani…"

She felt him shift and then the world became a blur as she was flipped onto her back and held down, his hands holding her wrists to the bed so tightly she knew they would bruise. Even though she knew that he was only startled and that he would never hurt her, she was overcome by the fear of once again being held down by a man whose strength far exceeded her own.

A raw and broken sob ripped itself from her throat and she began to struggle, her body bucking against the weight holding her hostage. The darkness around her soon began to blur as she started to hyperventilate and then suddenly she was free. She instinctively rolled off the bed and ran to the door before she realized that he had let her go…and that the boy behind her was not some monster, he was Hani. She stopped and stood in front of the door, her body still trembling as she slowly turned to the figure hunched over on her bed.

Hani sat with his feet on the floor, elbows resting on his knees as he cradled his head in his hands. He looked absolutely defeated and just as broken as Haruhi felt. She cautiously took a few steps forward until she was standing in front of him, staring down at him as she raised her hand to rest it on top of his head, threading her hands through his tousled blond hair.

She felt him stiffen beneath her touch and she felt a tear slide down her cheek when he gently reached for her hand to pull it away from him. "Don't Haruhi…please don't try to comfort me."

Haruhi shook her head, after all the times he had been there for her how could he think that she would not do the same for him? She took another step towards him so that she stood between his legs and pushed aside his other hand to thread her fingers through his hair, giving it a little tug to raise his face up so that she could look into his eyes. "You had a nightmare Hani…there is nothing wrong with that"

He tried to pull away but her grip on him tightened, "Dammit Haruhi, I could have really hurt you! You were crying…you were scared of me."

Haruhi gave a barely noticeable shake of her head, "I wasn't scared of _you_ Hani. You know why I reacted the way I did but I promise you, I _know for a fact_ that you would never hurt me."

Hani's eyes were lowered as he refused to look at her and Haruhi frowned, "I'm fine Hani but I won't be if you continue to not look at me."

After what felt like an eternity to Haruhi his eyes slowly rose to meet hers, his insecurities and regret reflecting back at her through his whiskey gaze. She pulled one hand out of his hair and ran the pad of her thumb beneath the shadow under his right eye. "You forgive me for my screams at night…and when I attack you in my sleep. You even hold me afterwards. Can it be my turn to hold you Hani? Will you let me take care of you this time?"

Haruhi could see the moisture in his eyes even in the darkened room but still, he did not cry. Her gaze slid away from his and caressed the features of his face. Her other hand fell away from his hair to trace the curve of his jaw with her fingertips, her thumb taking the short journey from the bottom of his chin to stroke the curve beneath his bottom lip. She watched mesmerized as his lips parted and she found she could not resist the temptation to slide her thumb along the fullness of them. Her eyes flickered back up to his and she found herself caught in the fire she saw inside of them.

His hand reached up to curve around hers and before he pulled it away he pressed his lips against the pad of her thumb. He released her hand and wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her stomach. She immediately placed her hands on his head and whispered, "Hani?"

He turned his face so that his cheek rested against her middle so that he could answer her unasked question, "When I kiss you for the first time Haruhi I don't want to taste the salt of your tears. When you let me touch you for the first time I want for us to have at least spoken about what we are to one another."

Haruhi looked down at the top of his head and though she was a bit disappointed, she couldn't help the small smile that tugged at the corner of her mouth. He was right and as much as she did want to take the next step, she wanted the moment to be right for the both of them even more. She wrapped her arms around him and held him close to her and whispered, "Thank you."

~oOo~

Hani brushed his teeth all the while watching Haruhi run around the house looking for her school bag. As soon as he was done he blocked her path and grabbed her by her shoulders, turned her towards the direction of her desk and pointed beneath it. Her shoulders drooped before she turned to glare at him, "You knew it was there the whole time didn't you?"

He grabbed his tie from where it hung over her chair and shrugged his shoulder, "Maybe."

She moved her desk chair out of the way and bent down to pick up her bag and nearly knocked the top of her head on the bottom of the desk when she heard a loud and much to enthusiastic knock on the door.

She straightened and turn to look at Hani who frowned and asked, "Expecting someone?"

She shook her head and made her way to the front door but Hani held her back, frown still in place. "Go ahead and make the coffee Haruhi, I'll answer the door."

"Why?"

"You dad wouldn't knock on his own door and if you weren't expecting anyone then…I'm just being cautious."

Haruhi stared for a second before nodding her head, "Okay."

He watched her head to the kitchen before going to answer the door, swinging it open at the insistent knocking and freezing when his eyes met dark grey ones behind glasses. Kyoya stood there with his arms crossed beside a confused Tamaki.

"Hani sempai…what…are…you…"

Hani knew what they were seeing and if he had been on the other side of the door he would be thinking the same thing. He stood there barefoot with only his school pants and a half way buttoned school shirt with a loose tie hanging around his neck.

Tamaki shook his head, "Please tell me you didn't."

"I didn't."

"It sure as hell looks like you did," Kyoya growled out.

Hani's eyes shot to Kyoya, his voice low with anger, "If I had then I wouldn't deny it."

"Explain yourself then."

Hani laughed, "I don't need to explain a damn thing to you."

Haruhi came around the corner and stared at Tamaki and Kyoya from the sitting room with two cups of coffee in her hands, "What's going on?"

Tamaki waved his hands in front of his face with the most transparent fake smile as he quickly answered, "Nothing! Kyoya and I were just wondering if you wanted to drive to school with us."

Hani turned to her and shook his head, "They think I'm sleeping with you."

Haruhi frowned, "Uh…you are sleeping with me."

There was a long silence before Hani chuckled, "Perhaps I should rephrase that. They think we had sex."

Hani sometimes forgot how such things went over Haruhi's head, she was so incredibly literal. He watched as her face turned bright red before she cleared her throat, "We sleep together but we haven't…we just sleep and sometimes talk."

"It's none of their business Haruhi, you don't have to explain if you don't want to. We should finish getting ready though or we'll be late."

It was a clear dismissal and to avoid further conflict Kyoya grabbed Tamaki's coat by the elbow and dragged him away, anger still radiating from the dark haired boy. Haruhi frowned after them, confusion clear on her face.

"Why are they so upset?"

Hani wondered how Haruhi still couldn't see how the others felt about her. If he was a better person he would tell her but he was selfish. "I don't know."

Haruhi passed him his coffee, "Finish getting dressed or we won't have enough time to stop for breakfast."

Hani closed the door and leaned against it. He valued his friends despite his attitude, but he valued his growing relationship with Haruhi more. He needed to talk to them, even though he hated to explain himself he didn't want any bad blood between them.

~oOo~

Kaede walked in and smiled at her receptionist. "Any messages for me?"

Yuka nodded, "Yes. I forwarded one of them to your office phone, I think that it is something you would like to hear yourself."

Kaede's brow arched, "Is there a reason you are being so mysterious?"

Yuka shook her head, "Not mysterious, I just know it is something you would prefer to hear firsthand rather than by message."

With a nod Kaede walked into her office and got comfortable before pressing the button beside the blinking red light.

"Dr. Yamada, this is Dr. Yamato Inoue of the Mental Health Clinic. I was calling about one of my patients, Satori Nakahara. She has given me permission to share her case with you…I'll cut right to the chase. Satori is one of the girls that Kimura held hostage, she actually shared a cell with your patient. Satori is not doing very well and I believe that Ms. Fujioka might be able to help in her healing process. I do not want to impede on Ms. Fujioka's own progress so I wanted to let you know of the situation so that you might pose the question to your patient if you feel that perhaps it could be the right thing for Ms. Fujioka as well. Please, if you could return my call, my number is…."

Kaede stared ahead, a deep frown on her face. She would like to think that Haruhi would be able to handle the situation but she couldn't assume. She had to look out for her patient's welfare first and foremost…especially since she genuinely cared for the young girl.

* * *

A/N: I was going to write the first kiss in this chapter but it just didn't feel right. I was having so much trouble and thought, it wouldn't be so damn hard if I wasn't trying to force it. So sorry for those who have been waiting for it. Also, 'the curve beneath his bottom lip' is actually called the labret but no matter how I wrote it that word just screwed everything up. I know it wasn't the best but I had to write something to get me out of writers block hell. Thank you for reading and review please!

-Inari


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: So, I received a review from **Guest: Of course you would have the fantasy of breaking strong woman.**

Well **GUEST**, as a strong woman I have a few strong opinions for you: 1.) When you say 'of course' you imply that you know me. You do not. Do not act familiar with me, you haven't the right or the permission. 2.) I have a very clear warning in Chapter One, next time do us writer's a favor and read them instead of wasting space in our inboxes. 3.) You obviously do not understand what the true breaking of a woman is. A woman or man who is sexually assaulted is not a broken person and the fact that you believe so says much about your character. I believe I have the right to judge your character because you decided not to critique my writing but my own character. If you had taken the time to read on you would have, or judging by your inability to look deeper perhaps not, but you would have read about a bruised Haruhi who refused to be broken. The women in my fanfics are strong. I like realistically strong women who rise above their situations, fantastical or otherwise. So next time you decide to leave an ignorant review, know what the hell you are talking about.

As for my other reviewers and respectful readers, I love you all and thank you for understanding the strength of Haruhi. I apologize for the long rant.

Warning: I wrote this running on no sleep, I tend to add large amounts of Fluff when I'm sleep deprived and little sleep unfortunately equals more grammatical errors. Forgive me!

Chapter 13

Haruhi sat on the stairs in front of the fountain, her Physics book laid out on her lap. It had been a long day; a day full of tension that she tried desperately to ignore. She had run into the other boys a few times and all of them, aside from Mori, were uncharacteristically quiet. It was uncomfortable to say the least, especially when she had absolutely no idea what the issue was. So she decided that she would study during her free period by herself, but she found that she could hardly focus.

"Haruhi?"

Haruhi turned towards her friend, trying to calm the beat of her heart. She knew that she was in a safe place, but sometimes she couldn't help the fear when someone interrupted her time alone. It was like they were invading a sacred space of her own creation—hurdling over the walls that she dared to let down for a few seconds. As she stared at Renge Houshankuji she reminded herself that the eccentric girl would never hurt her nor belittle or judge her. It was a bit startling though, for Renge to approach her while she was alone. Ever since she had returned, everyone treated her like she was more fragile than glass and Renge who was so abrupt and outspoken was no different. Renge hadn't once spoken to her without one of the boys with her. It made Haruhi quite curious as to what could be on the girl's mind to want to speak to her now—alone.

Haruhi made an attempt to make her voice as welcoming as possible but she wasn't quite sure she was successful.

"Hi Renge. What's up?"

Renge sat down beside her, arranging her yellow dress over her knees and crossing her ankles before turning towards Haruhi. Her brown eyes held questions that Haruhi was not ready to answer and it seemed that the girl could see the hesitation in Haruhi's own eyes.

With a small smile and a soothing tone Renge posed her question. "Haruhi, I was wondering…well…"

It was quiet while Haruhi waited patiently for the other girl to gather the courage needed to ask her whatever she wanted to ask her. She held back a chuckle when she heard the girl whisper, "Oh, screw it."

Renge's eyes flashed with determination before she blurted out a question that Haruhi had not expected.

"I just wanted to know if you needed someone to talk to…about…well, to be perfectly honest about boys. More specifically, about Hani sempai."

Haruhi's face went up in flames as her lips parted and a dull, "Uhhh….", spilled forth.

The look on her face must have been quite comical because Renge stared at her wide eyed before bursting into hysterical laughter. The ladylike position that the highbred girl had perfected upon sitting down went up in smoke as she fell back with her arms around her midriff. As little snorts and wheezes passed through Renge's mouth and nose Haruhi couldn't help the slight lifting of her lips. Though the situation wasn't nearly as hilarious to Haruhi as it was to Renge, Haruhi found she could not help but to join in. For the first time in months, Haruhi laughed. A real laugh.

It bubbled up from her stomach and escaped without thought or permission. It was like taking a deep breath after being held underwater, but instead of her lungs screaming in relief it felt as if her heart was bursting. The girls' laughter rang out and echoed joyfully throughout the area but eventually the laughter quieted to chuckles and then soon, all that could be heard was their soft breathing, the chirping of birds, and the distant voices of gossiping girls.

As they lay on their back side by side in silence, Haruhi could feel something else build up inside of her. Something she feared for another to see but it rose despite her desperate need to keep it locked away. A sob threatened to choke her until she allowed it to be heard and as they tended to do, the tears followed. Haruhi could do little but cover her face as she broke down in front of someone who certainly would not understand.

She sensed the other girl's tentative movement next to her and waited to be left alone. She was okay with being left alone, a big part of her preferred it. She always felt so weak as it was, the last thing she could possibly want was for Renge to further witness her crumble beneath the constant weight on her chest.

She listened for the sound of shoes against the pavement; a signal of Renge's departure. Instead Haruhi was shocked when strong but feminine arms wrapped around her and held her close. She wanted to push the other girl away, to make her leave her be—but another part of her, a part that she had tried to ignore wanted the comfort. It wanted the comfort of someone who knew her but did not…it wanted some assurance, a kind of assurance that the boys nor Kaede could offer her.

Renge laid her cheek atop Haruhi's head and simply rocked her back and forth. She wasn't sure if Haruhi preferred silence but Renge's forte was not to remain quiet. The blonde decided that the best way to help Haruhi was to simply be herself...if it had been her in Haruhi's position she would resent those who pretended; those who were fake.

"I couldn't even begin to understand Haruhi, honestly I would never want to. I know I haven't been here for you like the boys—I suppose I was afraid to hurt you. My words…I don't know how to use them sometimes…I would never intentionally hurt you so I distanced myself for your sake. I see now it was a mistake and I am so sorry. I want you to know though Haruhi, that it's okay to cry. My shoulder won't get tired…I promise." It was quiet for a bit before Renge continued, "My dad told me once that God had designed us perfectly, so perfectly in fact that he had instilled in us a way to heal our own souls. I asked him what he meant—he said that when he had finally allowed himself to cry over my mother's death he felt lighter. I think maybe…maybe if you just let yourself cry no matter how much you might hate it…I think it might be a good thing. I always felt as if tears were a sign of strength and to let them fall is bravery. I know for a fact Haruhi that you are both strong and brave…I have always admired you Haruhi. I still do—even if you cry an ocean."

And Haruhi cried. It was different crying in the arms of someone who was not one of her boys or her father. It was as if she hadn't ever really cried at all. There was anger present in her tears…anger, bitterness, fear, loneliness, but most of all there was relief. She had allowed herself to fall apart; she had lowered her walls enough for someone to climb over. She not only was comforted by her ability to do so but by the fact that Renge had taken the time to climb the wall at all.

What she was most thankful for aside from Renge herself, was that she had not lost her ability to laugh. She had not done so often before Kimura had taken her, but she loved laughing. Renge was right though…she had to let herself cry. She tried to constantly hold back the tears and she now realized that by doing so she wasn't helping herself.

By the time Haruhi's tears had slowed and her sobs had quieted down she was a mess. Of course Renge was always prepared as she pulled a handkerchief seemingly out of thin air and proceeded to clean her up. "Do you know Haruhi, that you are a pretty crier? I always end up looking like an extra from the 'Night of the Living Dead' after a good cry. It's quite unfair."

Haruhi couldn't help the unladylike snort that had Renge giggling in delight as she continued to make Haruhi presentable.

"Thank you Renge."

Renge paused and smiled beautifully, "Of course Haruhi. You are my friend…and I am not the only one who cares about you here."

Haruhi smiled back at her, not as big but it was a start. She looked down and thought about the question that had precipitated the laughter and the tears that followed. She peeked back up at Renge and whispered, "I love him."

Renge's eyes widened, "Pardon?"

"Hani. I love him."

Haruhi watched as the girl's face brightened and her eyes twinkled with pleasure, "I knew you loved him Haruhi, even more obvious is that Hani loves you. Have you told him how you feel?"

Haruhi blushed and looked down before shaking her head, "No…but I think he knows."

"I'm sure he does…but I'm sure that he would like to hear it. If you aren't ready that's perfectly fine but one shouldn't ever assume that another knows how they feel. That is how misunderstandings happen…and how hearts are broken."

"Hani knows me better than I know myself sometimes, I don't think it's possible for him to misunderstand me."

Renge smiled, "You would be surprised Haruhi. If you are ready, I think you should tell him."

~oOo~

After speaking to Renge, Haruhi had come to a decision but as she approached the doors of the Music room she paused. She could hear them arguing from outside the doors and every now and then Hani's calm but cold voice would break through. After he spoke silence would follow before being broken by who she was sure was Kyoya or Tamaki; Haruhi had more than enough of their bickering. She was perhaps a little oblivious but she was not deaf, she could hear every word of accusation that was hurled at Hani. He was being verbally attacked and after listening for a short while even she could hear the truth that lurked behind Kyoya's and Tamaki's tones. Jealousy.

With that single recognized emotion Haruhi finally understood. She knew why the boys had such an aversion to her closeness with Hani—it was because they wished to be him. She knew should she vocally acknowledge her realization that she could very well destroy her friendship with the others…but she couldn't let them continue to berate Hani. She cared deeply for her friends but it was only for Hani did she feel more. It wasn't fair to him for him to defend his feelings for her when she had not yet admitted to him that she loved him. He deserved more from her.

When she opened the door the room fell silent and the boys all turned to her. She watched as they tried to smile and pretend that everything was fine but it was the reassurance in Hani's eyes that everything _would_ be fine that gave her the courage to speak.

"I first would like you all to know that I do not approve of this conversation."

Tamaki flushed in shame, "I apolo—"

Haruhi raised her hand, "I am capable of making my own choices…and if Hani is my choice I hope that you would respect my decision. I love each and every one of you…I care for you all. I just—I care for Hani in a very different way than I do you."

It was quiet, even Hani remained silent to her confession. She took a step back and then another but was stopped by Mori's deep soothing voice.

"I am not blind to your feelings Haruhi. I understand and respect any choice you make…as long as you are happy and healthy."

The twins whispered, "We know you love us."

Kaoru whispered, "Differently than we love you."

Hikaru followed, "And enough to let you go."

When she turned to Tamaki he had his head down and she frowned until he looked up with bright sad violet eyes. "I love you Haruhi and if I were a more selfish man I would fight for you. I want to fight for you still…but I think that I would only hurt you in the end. I am sorry I tried to stand in Hani's way. You deserve the world and I think…even though I wish I could have been the one to give it to you…I think that Hani would go so far as to try to give you the moon."

Without hesitation Haruhi agreed, "He would."

Kyoya remained silent, looking out the window with a blank look on his face. Haruhi would not push him…Kyoya was unmovable on a good day. Just as she turned to Hani the stoic boy spoke, "I am a selfish man. I think that eventually, given enough time, I might have been able to win your heart. I guess that's the problem…I don't want to have to win it, especially when you have given it freely to someone else. To a man who I respect and trust. I am not one for dramatics Haruhi but I think that you should know that I don't easily love…never has there been an instance where I have let someone close without something to gain from them. Until you. You are the exception to every rule I have ever made for myself and others."

A tear fell down her cheek as she whispered, "I won't always be the only exception."

Kyoya smiled sadly before walking away, the other silently following leaving Haruhi and Hani alone.

Haruhi turned to Hani who was staring down at her, his eyes and face revealing nothing. Haruhi knew better though—he was waiting for her.

She reached up hesitantly and rubbed the pad of her thumb gently beneath the shadow beneath his eye, the evidence of how little sleep he had the night before.

"Hani, I don't want any misunderstandings between us…or broken hearts. I love you. It sounds simple when I say it out loud…but it's not. I love you…very much."

Hani reached up slowly and took her hand from his face, bringing it down to his mouth and kissing the tips of her index and middle fingers. Her breath caught when he took a step closer to her, so that with every breath she took their bodies touched. He released her to reach up to cradle her face between his hands, arching her neck gently up as he whispered, "They all really love you Haruhi…but none of them could ever love you like I do."

She knew they couldn't.

Just before his lips met hers Haruhi feared her reaction but when Hani touched her it was if the world ceased to exist. He explored her lips and mouth with such care and despite her innocence she could almost taste the reverence of his exploration. He treated her as if she was something sacred but thankfully not fragile. He kissed her like he had all the time in the world.

She shivered when he ran the tip of his tongue across the fullness of her bottom lip, asking for permission to enter. Her mouth opened against his after a second of hesitation and immediately let out a soft moan when he ran the tip of his tongue against the roof of her mouth. He let her take the lead, encouraging her to take control of the kiss. She reached up and tangled her fingers in his soft hair, taking great pleasure in the small groan that rumbled up from within Hani's chest. Haruhi shivered as his tongue one again slid against her own, the soft caress sending a pulse through her body that she had never experienced before. She knew exactly what it was though, and she knew that she would like to explore that feeling in depth but she wasn't ready for that quite yet.

Hani, always so aware of her, slowly pulled back. He gently pressed two more kisses to her slightly swollen lips before sighing and resting his forehead against hers. "I love you Haruhi."

~oOo~

Kaede was not quite sure what to do, especially when she could see a glow of happiness in Haruhi's eyes. She had grown not only to care for Haruhi but to understand her as well, and her understanding of the girl was why she hadn't shut down the possibility of Satori meeting with Haruhi. She truly felt that it was a good thing, a step forward for both of the girls.

She took a slow deep breath and looked up at Haruhi who asked, "What's wrong?"

This was it.

"I received a phone call from a fellow doctor. He informed me his patient was not having the same success as you are in terms of the healing process. He believes you might be able to help."

Before Kaede could continue Haruhi whispered, "It's Satori. I…I miss her."

Kaede leaned forward, "Why do you sound upset about missing her Haruhi?"

"I'm not upset…anymore. Before I feared missing her because I think I equated her with my time in that place. I realized that I just miss her and it has nothing to do with Kimura or the cell we were forced to share together. What you hear is probably guilt…I feel guilty for wanting to forget her for something she had no control over. She suffered just like me and she didn't deserve for me to push her away if even in my mind."

Kaede could not express how proud of Haruhi she was.

"That is normal Haruhi, and I am quite proud of you for looking deeper into why you felt the way you did. I hope that Satori will reach the same place as you soon."

"You think I can help her?"

"I do…I think you, Dr. Inoue and I can help her."

Haruhi nodded, "Next session then?"

Kaede smiled, relief evident on her face. "Yes. Next session."

* * *

A/N: My main goal for this chapter was for Haruhi to have a friend outside of the boys, her father and Kaede. I also wanted to have as little drama in Hani's and Haruhi's relationship as possible, so that meant having Haruhi let the boys know where she stood and them having a bit of closure themselves. I know there are more mistakes in this chapter than usual and I apologize. Hoped you liked it and please review! No flames.


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